My Pain

My Pain
by Satin Teddy

Well1, it2 all started3 in the 5th grade4. I5 have always6 been a water baby7 and I was going to go swimming8 with my class9. Well10, on my way to the local11 High12 School13 (that's where the pool was14) I was talking to some of my friends15 and well16, not17 looking at where I was going18. I was so busy talking19 that I didn't even notice this bright yellow20 fire21 hydrant that was right infront22 of my face23 and so what do I do? YES!24 You guessed it!25 I walked right into it and this is26 my most painful experiance27. And now you all28 know why I am a female, either that or a male with some female parts29 and a very high voice. But then, the voice is already accounted for with the hydrant30.

1: This is obviously in a style designed to catch the attention of the reader and hold it in a vice-like (though somewhat furry) grip. The flow of the rest of the story hinges upon this precariously absorbing and meticulously selected word.
2: After such a commanding, start, Teddy immediately introduces a subject. "It" is later revealed to symbolize the event in question. Twists of this nature show great skill and promise as both a novelist, and an artist.
3: Pure genius of this magnitude hasn't been seen since the likes of Dostoevsky and Kafka. I mean, what else can I say?
4: 5th grade.1.
5: Teddy refers to herself here for the first time in the piece. This is a particularly moving passage. Teddy has now declared herself as the author and subject of this fine narrative essay. And by acknowledging her own existence she has irreversibly changed the tone of the entire piece. And by craftily drawing the attention of the reader upon herself, can now begin to search her soul in earnest.
6: Always (All-waze) - 1. At all times, on all occasions; 2. invariably, without exception; 3. Continually; 4. A real long time.
7: The author does not explain this somewhat cryptic phrase. We have interpreted it to have something to with dihydrogen oxide, and infancy. Other schools have argued that this is a subtle allusion to the Egyptian goddess Ea2.
8: Symbolism at its finest. Yum!
9: Teddy alludes to the works of Marx, Engels and Rousseau pointing very clearly to her status in society, in a somewhat critical view of the caste system and the role of the proletariat in aforementioned structure.
10: Recurrent theme!!! Recurrent theme!!!3.
11: "Local" can be taken to refer to her closed class circles, or to being low in calories.
12: "High" refers to a sense of elitism, or the illusion thereof. Teddy is obviously bitter about her role in society.
13: "School" refers to a school of thought, institution of higher learning, or group of fish. Also of interest, are the findings of a left-wing group of analysts, who have taken School to be a radical misspelling of "drool".4.
14: Teddy takes this opportunity to look back fondly upon her times spent within the glorious confines of the pool. A deep sadness can also be detected in her tone at the unsurety of the pool's continued existence. The entire contents of this bracket can be analysed on at least 14 different levels.
15: Aww...
16: More recurring themes to keep analysts and English teachers happy.
17: See "Wayne's World" (1991/92). This is the first negative word in the piece, preparing us for what is to come by dragging the reader down into the depths of uncertainty ad confusion.
18: What are you looking donw here for?! There's art going on up there! Look up! Look up!
19: Talk (Tok) - 1. The part of the head consisting of the protecting nose and jaws in certain animals. 2. Y'know...talk.
20: Teddy's use of adjectives here is particularly effective. But we're not going to tell you why. Ha-ha.
21: Obviously an allusion to the Chirstian concept of hell.
22: Deep. Deep.
23: Face, here, can be taken to be a symbol of the human spirit and soul. T.S. Eliot used this particular literary device to it's full effectiveness in his immortal "The Wastelands" and "The Hollow Man".
24: Here Teddy whips the reader back into a positive frame, only to dive again into the depths of the negative. In this single, orgasmic statement, we can feel her anguish, her power, her... Oh God!
25: By anticipating the reaction of the reader, Teddy instantaneously involves the reader. At this point in the story, there is no turning back, if the reader is going to continue his life in any fruitful way.
26: Note subtle changing of tense - from past to present and back again many times. This creates a stimulating joy-ride for the senses, and the reader is left happily confused.
27: So she made a mistake. So what. Leave her alone - she's an artist!
28: Take note of the careful avoidance of the colloquialism "Y'All" from her painful childhood in South Central Los Angeles.
29: HEY!
30: In this final sentence, Teddy pulls all her themes together into a fuller understanding of the topics addressed. All in all, it was damn good.

1: 5th grade.
2: But they are stupid.
3: Note the recurrence of "Recurrent theme!!!"
4: As if...

If you like anything here, or if you don't, please e-mail milky@yip.org. Failure to do so may cause your bones to liquify and your eyeballs to explode.