Judy and the Blackflies

Judy and the Blackflies
by Napkin

Judy hadn't meant to raise the ire of the blackflies. Mostly she got along with them; usually they tolerated each others' presence quite gracefully. Sometimes they smiled and exchanged pleasantries as they did their shopping at the market. Not so this day.

On a blustery day in October, little Judy's trip to the market went wrong - horribly, horribly, horribly wrong. Oh so horribly wrong.

Judy pulled her coat tight around her as she boarded the bus in front of her house, just as she did each Tuesday when she went to the market. Judy was real tired (because she had been up all night looking at porn on the internet), and she swiftly fell asleep on the shoulder of the passenger beside her.

When she awoke, Judy realized the bus was slowly cruising down a very dirty, rundown street. Blackflies were everywhere. Judy's stomach turned with an uneasy ... uneasiness. "The bad part of town," Judy whispered. The man whose shoulder her head was on nodded in silent understanding. They clasped hands and gazed into each others' eyes, and promptly fell in love. But there was no time for that! Little Judy had to figure out what to do. She pulled the bell dingy-thing.

Hesitantly, Little Judy stepped from the bus. The blackflies were everywhere - in all directions on the street, and on the sidewalk, and on balconies above. The bus rounded a corner up ahead and she was alone with the 'flies. From somewhere in the masses behind her came a whistle. Little Judy whirled around, but only saw row after row of hostile looking blackflies. Her heart thudded. A voice in the crowd said, "Hey, Babydoll... I like yo' style." The 'flies laughed loudly with him. Catcalls and shouts ensued.

Scared, Judy began to push and shove her way through the crowd. She ran like never before, just wanting to go home. She ran with all the energy she could muster, but when she turned around, Judy saw that the blackflies were following her. They were gaining.

Judy ran and ran, until her heart felt like it would burst, until her legs wobbled and threatened to give away.

But the blackflies kept coming; first in just a trickle, then in huge waves, then finally in thick, soupy waves of bugular hatred.

Judy made it home just fine that day and managed to catch some rather thought-provoking daytime talk shows, but YOU might not be so lucky. Let this story be a lesson to you. If you don't know what I mean, well, I'm sure not going to spell it out for you. You figure it out on your own. ASSHOLE. Now go and Allah be with you. GO!!! QUICK!!! IN GOD'S NAME, RUN!!! OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

If you like anything here, or if you don't, please e-mail milky@yip.org. Or you just might have a little "accident".