Clarissa

Clarissa
by Asphalt Bastard

Clarissa was a sad, hopeless sort of person who worked in the customer service of the FUNFANCE Orange Drink Company. She was very slim, perhaps too slim, though in a certain light she emitted a gaunt appeal. She wore dark red eyeglasses that, according to the eyeglass salesman, brought out the natural beauty of her high cheekbones. They did not. She wore her eternally static-charged hair in a tight bun welded tightly at her neck, profoundly uncomplimented by the evergreen dress that hung unnaturally from her stopped shoulders. At times like this, when the office was quiet, she often mused about suicide and Lance.

Lance was the executive service representative that had recently been transferred from the head office in Akron. He had soft brown hair and straddling blue eyes, a muscular but not unweildly build. Clarissa thought he was a very tasty dish, and when she glanced at him her bun throbbed with rank lustfulness.

"You know baby, I think you'd look real good without those glasses on." suddenly offered Lance, his voice brazen and collected.

"Hmmmmmmm" said Clarissa, her legs making large circles underneath her desk as they were prone to do when she was nervous.

"Why don't you take those glasses off, ba-by?" asked Lance, as he straddled towards Clarissa's desk.

"Goo" went Clarissa, her tongue hanging out at an awkward angle from her face.

"Yeah baby, like this" said Lance as he reached down and lifted Clarissa's glasses from her face. "Sweet" he added, his voice both mysterious and reassuring.

"And why not take this hair down, it makes you look so serious, let me get that for you..." continued Lance as he untied Clarissa's ferocious bun. "Sure is sweet" he added.

"And what about this dress, sunshine, why not take that off too? I'm sure underneath it you're all wo-man" said Lance, as he reached over and unbuttoned Clarissa's ill-fitting evergreen dress.

As the dress fell to the floor, Clarissa hunched over and covered her near nakedness with her upper body.

"Now baby, that's not so right, why don't we take this other stuff off? said Lance, his tone implying a directive and not a question.

"Goo" went Clarissa, elated and mystified at the same time.

In seconds, Clarissa was completely naked, her hands moving quickly to cover herself.

"Now baby, those hands, they're just not you. Let me help you with those" said Lance as he reached into his inside blazer pocket and brought out a very sharp butchers knife.

"Hack" went the knife.

"AHHHHH" went Clarissa.

"Aw c'mon princess, you'd look so fine, so very fine without that tongue. Let me help you slip out of that" said Lance as he cut her tongue off.

"Nhaaaaa" went Clarissa.

"Oh, you're looking so rightious, but you got some blood on your legs honey... let me help clean that up for you" said Lance as he reached down and hacked off both of Clarissa's legs at the knee.

"shup" went Clarissa, a sound she had never made before.

As Clarissa's amputated body slumped to the floor, Lance looked over and saw the office assisstant manager making his way in. When he saw Clarissa's bloodied body on the floor, he paused suddenly and stared at Lance.

"LANCE!" screamed the office manager. "WE CAN'T HAVE THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY DURING OFFICE HOURS. ONE MORE MUTILIATED BODY AND WE'LL HAVE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE WITH THIS COMPANY" continued the weathered office assistant manager.

"Hey.... no problem coach" said Lance as he flashed a dazzling smile.

"Fine!" said the assisstant office manager. "But in the meantime.. uhh... perhaps you'd like to come into my office and..... uh... join me... in a cup of....warm pudding?" asked the office assisstant manager.

"SOLID!" squealed Lance as he threw down his butchers knife and followed the office assisstant manager.

"zip" went the zipper on Lance's tailored pants.

"sweet" whispered Clarissa as she died.

If you like anything here, or if you don't, please e-mail milky@yip.org. Win free teeth!