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"Hello," Ellie said to the guest, as she pulled her skirt down a bit and lay down on the floor in between Rinthus and the stairway. This was custom, as the bottom stair of the stairway had long been missing.

"Hi," Rinthus was delighted to reply. A moment or two was permitted the honour of passing before the man who was generally creditted with being Ellie's father of Ellie's parents gradually descended the staircase, including Ellie, and thereupon stood face to face with Rinthus.

"Rinthus," said the man.
"So far," Rinthus allowed himself to reply.

The old man sighed wistfully and began to pace into his living room. "Rinthus, you are no doubt aware of the feelings my Ellie has towards you. Ellie is everything to me, and ignoring the physical impossibilities of this, I am an old man. It is for this reason that I have summoned you to my household. I have a mission for you."

Rinthus nodded serenely, like so much paste.
"Take Ellie."

Again came the now familiar Rinthian nod.
"Go."

And thus, RInthus pulled Ellie up from the floor, and they exited the dwelling.

[Author's Note: For the purposes of fluidity, Ellie will from this point forward be a man named Saylon. The reader should attempt not to notice, as this will merely confuse the plot.]

Rinthus and Saylon began to wander up the street, which was on a slight incline, but really nothing to fear.

"How are things?" Rinthus asked.
"Good. The plants continue to thrive in their new environment," Saylon said, ignoring the pain which had begun to sprout from his lower limb.

"You'll forgive me," Rinthus said blushingly, "I was unaware that the plants were in a new environment."

Saylon answered this only with a disapproving scowl. The two did not speak again for several hours.

After a while of wallking along like this, Rinthus grabbed Saylon by the shoulders and said to him, "You're nice, and good, I like you."

"You think you are charming, don't you?" Saylon asked.
"What is charm?" Rinthus asked.

"Rather than us subtlely discussing and in this manner bringing out the author's views on charm, here." Saylon handed Rinthus a pamphlet.

What is Charm?

I've heard it argued that charm is deception. The argument is, basically, that charm and flattery go hand in hand, and that honesty and charm are incompatible. But truthfully, couldn't one be charming and honest, if one was a sincerely nice person who was capable of seeing the good side to everything? No, not really, for if one was being entirely honest one would mention all the bad as well as all the good. Anyone capable of seeing good in everything is obviously perceptive enough to see bad in just about everything. Therefore, charm is fraud.

"This isn't a very logical arguement," Rinthus said.

"It doesn't have to be, it's the truth."

RInthus and Saylon continued to wander through the community until it was no more. They then began to wander along an old road, which was filled with potholes and skeletons and so on.

"Rather desolate area, wouldn't you say," Saylon asked.
"I guess."

A brawl ensued.
The two men were killed.

[Author's Note: For authorial purposes, the two men are once again alive, and are now in a large apartment complex. In this complex, there are two large parties going on: a) a high school graduation party; b) a party for past winners of a certain television game show.]

Saylon wandered in and sat down on the wall facing away from the bed. Rinthus followed and slumped down against the wall. The teenagers looked at them rathered puzzled, until Rinthus offered them some pizza.

[Author's Note: Don't worry about where the pizza came from, they got it before, I just didn't mention it.]

This simple gesture signified that they were friends, and thereafter they were accepted by the teenagers.

Now for the first time it became apparent to Rinthus and Saylon that they were in the midst of some sort of stripping game. One of the males called out a trivia question, whereupon everyone in the room had to give an answer or take off a piece of their clothing. By a bit of bad planning, the other male in the room was always asked each question first, and sadly, he always got the answer. Thus, the two females never got to answer any questions, and were now only wearing their shirts, which were long enough so that Rinthus and Saylon were in no way corrupted.

Rinthus turned to Saylon and said, "I have what we need from these people." They wandered out and past the soundproof booth, and began to wander up the aqua-smelling staircase. As they wandered, they decided to discuss morality.

Morality

It's a good idea to have morals. I don't know why people got rid of them in the first place. They shouldn't be codified, because then they are laws instead of morals, and that's no good. There should also be no reward for having morals, such as a nice afterlife or a toaster. Why then should people have morals, if it takes effort and there are no rewards? Damn it, they just should.

"Good discussion", said Saylon, clapping his hands.

Now, the game show host appeared at the top of the stairs.

[Author's Note: Saylon will temporarily become a gun for this next scene.]

"Greetings," said the host of the game-like show.

[Author's Note: Saylon is back to normal again. Rinthus and Saylon are now in a sub-basement part of the apartment complex, and they have just wandered around and seen the spot where the girl I love held a book together during a fire in the school library. They were amazed.]

The king stood behind them, beside him his queen, in front of them their attendants. But they could not look back long. Rinthus turned to Saylon and whispered, "What do we want to do next?"

"We have only three choices," Saylon said sadly. "We can move straight forward, or forwardf and left, or forward and right."

"Straight forward," said Rinthus, a victim of Allied propaganda. He was also scared of being attacked by a nearby castle.

Bravely, Rinthus and Saylon moved forward, and were both killed by a knight who advanced in a kind-of L shape. They hadn't seen him.

[Author's Note: This is only symbolism, they are fine.]

Now Rinthus and Saylon continued to run through the damp and murky corridors of this place... the place, in which they should not be!

Sirens flashed, fire wailed, society imploded. "Why is everything so... Hectic?" Saylon asked of Rinthus.

"Perhaps when we got on that elevator we DESCENDED TOO FAR. We knew by the way the buttons were positioned that we SHOULDN'T HAVE COME THIS FAR DOWN but we did anyhow and hence THROUGH OUR DISOBIEDIENCE we have FALLEN too far and are now suffering some sort of RETRIBUTION."

"Hmm, yes, like mankind. Maybe if you go and get on that crusifix over there and die, then that will help me find a stairway leading back upstairs...?" Saylon suggested.

"Sounds logical enough," said Rinthus.

[Author's Note: These are truly clever Biblical allusions. I apologize if they are overly subtle (Note the portrayal of the fern as the Noah figure). I also apologize to the literary community in general for this wildly radical departure (Biblical allusions) from established practices, I guess I was just feeling zany.]

They ran and ran and ran, like in The Odyssey.*

[Author's Note: Allusion to The Odyssey, a poem by Homer, sequel to his best selling Iliad.]

"Where is sanctity?" they cried.

[Author's Note: This is in regards to their search for sanctity.]

They ran past a bunch of doors, labelled "safety", "comfort", "values" and such similar concepts. Finally they came to a big sign which had one large arrow pointing west reading "Freedom of Choice" and another reading "Safety and Comfort".

"Gee, which one should we choose?" said Saylon.
"I don't know, whichever you want."

"I don't care, it's up to you."
"They both sound so nice," whined Rinthus.

"Ah! anguish!" said Saylon, looking skyward, and pulling out large clumps of his own hair. He was caught in a dilemma, you see.

"Maybe we should just go back," said Rinthus.

"Yeah whatever, I'm hungry anyhow," said Saylon.

[Author's Note: This may be an allusion to man's need for the basics in life, or simply a rejection of the whole question freedom vs. stability. I'm not telling. I will, however, add that if they had chosen Safety and Comfort they would've also won a free toaster.]

The terrorist injected the full contents of the syringe into Rinthus's left arm.

[Author's Note: I guess they were caught by terrorists during that last note. This should be interesting.]

"OW!" said Rinthus.

[Author's Note: This surely indicated suffering, presumably this will be followed with self-questioning and perhaps a smidgen of repentance.]

"Boy, that hurt," said Rinthus. "This wouldn't have happened if I had just been happy where I was, but OH NO, I had to go and try something new. Guess I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE THE ESTABLISHED ORDER OR THINGS. I now REGRET MY ACTIONS and WISH THEY HAD NOT BEEN PERFORMED."

[Author's Note: See? So what's the moral of the story? Be happy with your lot in life, even if it sucks. Brilliant! Oh how I love western intellect.]

"Hee hee," said the terrorist. He then leaned forward and whispered into the ear of Saylon, "That was make-you-want-to-kill-your-friend-fluid, he'll come for you now."

Saylon did not want to be killed by Rinthus. Therefore, he decided to stop being Rinthus' friend, his logic being that if Rinthus only wanted to kill his friends, he would then be safe. It's a bit hard to follow, but don't worry about it, just assume I'm right. After all, would I be an author if I was silly? I think not!

"I hate you Rinthus," cried Saylon.
"But I still like you, Saylon," cried Rinthus.

Saylon now saw that the fluid had not yet kicked in and had it's full effect. "Well tough, I hate you, you disgust me, I wish you had never been born. You and I are no longer friends! You are not worthy of my friendship!"

Rinthus was confused, but angry. He grabbed a nearby knife and proceeded to stab it into Saylon several thousand times.

Saylon just sputtered blood and whispered, "...but I'm not your friend..." He then died.

The terrorist was having quite a chuckle now and Rinthus inquired as to why. The terrorist then explained his little trick, and how he had lied to Saylon about what he had injected into Rinthus's arm and how it had divided them and so on. Rinthus was then sad. He wished he had not killed Saylon. He kept wishing he had not killed Saylon for a very long time. Boy, did he wish he had not killed Saylon, woo-boy! We are talking some serious regret.

This went on for 17 years.

[Author's Note: Saylon is now back.]

And now Rinthus and Saylon headed for home. All the while they made statements of a profound nature, and of immense value for the thinking man. I don't know why, this was just a wacky game they played. Instead of talking about their weekends or the best kind of beer, they said things like "love is transitory" and "life is a burden which must be valiantly borne by all" and "please retain your transfer stub" and other such things.

Soon enough they arrived home. They then realized that there was no place like home, and that they should never wish for anything better, for to try, is to risk failure.

Endus.

Afterword

Woah.