We are glad you are interested in finding out more about Fraudutek Industries Revolutionary Guard, a group dedicated fully to Fraudutek Industries and its ideas, and willing to work at any task or project to ensure a better world for you and children.

If you wish to put in an application to join the FIRG, you will be required to undergo an series of tests and procedures to ensure that you are not only qualified, but that you are also dedicated to the highest ideals of the FIRG, and not, in fact, an agent of some law enforcement agency (We're the first to admit that we've had our troubles, but we can assure all law enforcement agencies, that this is due only to conflicting loyalties, and not due to the alleged illegal actions).

Some of the procedures that new recruits will have to under go will be painful, and humiliating, but we can assure you, this is only to make you a better revolutionary guard. It's this pain and suffering that make our revolutionary guards elite. Elitness is not just something you can find on the street, or come across the same way you get herpes, or samilia poisoning. It is something you have to earn, earn through personality destroying torture.

Pictured here, in front of the Old F.I.R.G. Headquarters, a recruit enjoys a moment of relaxation before sacrificing himself to the greater cause.

The F.I.R.G.'s long proud history dates back many years, having sucessfully carried out many violent campaigns against unarmed civilians the world over.

F.I.R.G. units are even now aiding in many of Fraudutek Industries projects, such as the Perfect Human Project and our attempts to create New Government.

If you are still interested in becoming the best of the best, please E-mail us with you request and a short essay summarizing why we should stoop so low as to pick you.

Now Fraudutek Industries offers something for the kids to join, feel proud about and die for. The Junior Elite, the para-military branch of the OETFC, gives today's youth the ability to focus their overpowering aggression into a semi-legitimate purpose.

The Junior Elite would prepare young girls and boys for a life sacrificed to the F.I.R.G., if only they could survive long enough to blossom into it. But the Junior Elite doesn't prepare kids for the future. The Junior Elite prepares them to be today's young fodder, so that Fraudutek Industries future will be as bright and wonderful as their's could have been.