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Safe Driving Tips
To help you get this magazine home safely

  • A car in motion is a car that can crash
  • Inflated tires, inflated ego.
  • Steering wheels can easily distract the driver.
  • If your hood pops up while driving, just keep going. Determination is the key.
  • You wouldn't put gas in your body; why put it in your car?
  • Seatbelt, shmeatbelt.
  • You didn't think speed limits were for real, did you?
  • Aim for the other cars (reverse psychology). *** FROM KYLE ***
  • Don't drive tired. Airbags inflate conveniently when you crash.
  • If your tires explode while driving, just keep going. They want an audience - don't be that audience.
  • Have your exhaust piped inside your car - you paid good money for that gas.
  • Brakes are for lazy drivers - CARS ARE FOR GOING!!!
  • Don't waste your tires by using them all at once.
  • No car? No problem! Drive anyhow.
  • Deliberately crash your car every now and then. You're going to get into accidents anyhow - why not be in control?
  • If your car catches fire while driving, just keep going. What a pathetic cry for attention.
  • Remember: gas must go in the gas hole, not just through the window.
  • Driving in reverse brings back lost gas.
  • Remember: the car is more scared of you than you are of it.
  • Don't waste your rear view mirror on other cars.
  • Above all, remember, it's your car: drive how YOU want.
Backup Stop Onwards

If you like anything here, or if you don't, please e-mail Or we'll come to your house, order you a pizza and leave you to pay for it.