Okay. You strut out onto the stage in a skin-tight black plastic bikini and begin strutting about sexily. You gently peel off the bikini and then pour a large bucket of baby oil over your head erotically and slowly rub the oil in all the right places. Then you give blowjobs to the entire Olympic committee, all the fans, and most of your competitors. You get gold. And silver. And bronze. It is time for the seventh and final event, and event in which death to all competitors is guaranteed by international law: the gardening competition. How hard do you try?|
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