The USA has the advantage that it is hot, so the American people need to build a lot of fountains. Unfortunately, I usually travel to the USA by myself and thus don't have anyone along to take my picture (and they have crime in the USA, which means I can't use my camera's timer). One glorious day, though, I'm going to go on a road trip all across the land and chronicle all my aquatic exploits for you.

    Spitting Damsel of Denver (Denver, Colorado): This woman stands in a pool in the centre of the Mile High City, near the mint and the government buildings, and sprays saliva upon all who approach.

    Holiday Inn Fountain (Pasadena, California): The tiny fountain in front of the hotel I stayed in during my stay in Pasadena was one of the few fountains running on the weekend. One night my ex-girlfriend and I did a photo shoot, which also featured several pictures of me in my "young girl headed off to college" pose.

    UCLA Fountain (Los Angeles, California): This fountain near the entrance to UCLA was one of my few Californian conquests. Los Angeles is filled with wonderful fountains, but because it is a water-starved city, many institutions turn off their fountains on evenings and weekends.

    Pedestrian Fountain (Cincinnati, Ohio): Cincinnati is a very hot little city, so much so that the downtown is built around a fountain and its square (called Fountain Square). I couldn't get in that one, though. One of the 'Nati's less impressive fountains stands in the middle of a street that has been converted into a pedestrian walkway.

    Terminal Fountain (Cincinnati, Ohio): This magnificent multilevel is located on the outskirts of Cincinnati's downtown, outside a train station turned fun centre charmingly named Terminal Station.

    Super Laser Fountain (Chicago, Illinois): The entire perimeter of this slab of rock at the entrance to Chicago's Navy Pier is heavily guarded by motion-detecting water jets. And yes, they shoot to kill.

Canada | Europe

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