Renae Elliott Memorial Page

David Hosking	4:57 pm 24/4/2002
I love you nae, I'll miss you. Rest in peace.

Paul Devitt	5:23 pm 24/4/2002
Always one to make things interesting, we all love and miss you Nae. Just remember beatle car riding in all its glory :)

Mistrale	5:56 pm 24/4/2002
I'm sorry for the things I said, and for the things I didn't say. Your dedication will be a constant inspiration, and I hope you have found the peace you sought. I love you always

James Elsdon	6:46 pm 24/4/2002
Rest in peace nae. I hope you'll be forever happy. Hugs from James (:

Shannon Emerson	6:59 pm 24/4/2002
U brought happyness to us. I can only hope u have found the happyness u deserve. Lov Shannon huggles

Timmy Newell	7:03 pm 24/4/2002
"Rest in peace" You will be missed

BIG Lan Team	7:06 pm 24/4/2002
You will be missed Our deepest simpathies to her family and friends Regards BIG TEAM Timmy Newell Steve Sheahan Mick Sheahan Lachie Challis Darren Bell

nafe	8:36 pm 24/4/2002
Nae, I know I'm going to miss you heaps and heaps, I already do even though we hadn't spoken for quite some time. I enjoyed the time you cam here and i'll never, ever forget you. Rest in peace. love nafe

Melanie	10:16 pm 24/4/2002
Ren, Im sorry we didnt get to know each other as much as i would of liked You truely are a beautiful person and will always be in my heart Rest in Peace Love Mel xoXox

Jess

0:22 am
25/4/2002

Everytime I try to write something here I start crying again. I can't believe you're gone, Nae. We all miss you dreadfully. I keep looking for your name in mIRC, on my MSN list. You were always there, and now you aren't.

I could always count on you still being around when I couldn't sleep and came back to the computer, and we'd talk. You would have the answers to my problems, you always did.

Answer me this one, how do we go on without you? You once said we didnt care about you. That we were pretending to because we were all so polite. I wish you could see this page. See all these people who love you and miss you. Thats the worst thing, you always had the last say.

We love you, and will remember you always. I hope you are happy now and that your emotional scars have been forgotten

Love always, Jess

Ben (friend of jess's)

12:02 am
25/4/2002

Iv never met Renae, but what iv heard from jess is that she was a very special person. I wrote the following poem to try abd help Jess get through this horrible tragedy, i hope it can help some of you to

Friendship is the strongest bond that exists between two

You show them love; they’ll return it to you

Friends know what your thinking without the slightest clue

Always stay with them, for they re lost without you

Sometimes you fight and may not agree

Just give them a moment and let them be

Most will come back, in time you will see

Those who break away just need to be free

At times they might depart. A little to soon

Like leaving at breakfast instead of staying till noon

Your soul will be darkened, like a night with no moon

But their life was a song, so sing along to the tune

Remember the good times, forget the bad

Ignore those, which hurt, or make u sad

Think of then happiest, the best times you had

Then u will be blissful, gleeful and glad

Never regret the past, and don’t forget them

For even if you knew not, they were your friend

They were happy you cared, and there heart you did mend

Just remember that you stuck with them from start till end

two|face

1:05 am
25/4/2002

Renae Elliott, that truly is a wonderful name, unforunately I had to find out this way, I had always known you as elegia until now. I am disturbed to see you go, your talent gone, your name missing from irc, the flip remarks. But oh well, it was your life and you took there is nothing we can do except remeber you in the good and the bad times. You will be missed by many, when you do of course you are not dead so perhaps you finally start to live, so Live in Happiness elegia :]

Jess on behalf of John Fox

1:05 am
25/4/2002

John met Renae at a party that was held at my house in January 2002. When he heard the news he immediately passed on his condolences and this poem. He was too shy to post it here himself.

~*~

A prayer for a friend can be like a soft flower,

It may not look much, but it's delicate and deliberate,

And it says I'm sorry, I apologize.

It says that I've felt the tears in your eyes,

And its scent lets you know where I've failed,

And its petals number your own pains.

Like this flower loved the earth,

This flower says I love you.

lilly-	3:57 am 25/4/2002
ele...what can I say... I really wish I would've had my computer maybe we could've talked or something... I misss you more than anyone can imagine... We were going to meet this summer... I'll have to do something for the both of us.. maybe you will be with me in spirit... I hope you are at peace now.. I love you ele Lilly-

selcitset (ben)

5:29 am
25/4/2002

i am probably the last person expected to make an entry here.. but here it goes. i don't think i have accepted the fact yet that renae is gone. renae and i had a very strange relationship on IRC. i would put her on message and babble on about senseless things for hours, and she would rarely respond, because she thought I was an arrogant idiot. but one day, during a heated argument about something really really stupid(we did this a lot) she tells me that i make her laugh/cheer her up.. the mood of our discussions shifted constantly because i would always tease her, and i think she knew this. often times, i try to convince myself this is all a scam, but i'm just about to lose hope. i'm really going to miss her and i just want her to know that i've always admired her..

"Only once in a blue moon you'd encounter such oddity
But you'll learn to love her
She's just like a flower
But get her mad and you will face
the wrath of Elegia.

Nae Renae you've gotta be insane..."

selcitset (ben)	5:32 am 25/4/2002
i forgot to add.. i am working on a song dedicated to renae. if you would like to hear it when it's finished, e-mail me at dollmeat@hotmail.com

anonymus

5:56 am
25/4/2002

ele.... i admire u in a strange way for doing what u did... anyway, this is a poem i found over the net... ur friends will never forget u...

SWEET DEATH LET IT BE

The wind so silent, blows on in the night
Who is to say what or whom is right?
Dying is the only way out.

Death come to me
Sweet death let it be
My soul is torn
My body too worn

I want to die
Everything is gray,
and there're things in my way
I can't stand it anymore.

It just plain hurts to live on
Dawn after dawn after dawn
I can no longer try
Oh please, please, please let me die.

Francesca Petrache	6:52 am 25/4/2002
Even though I only knew you through a hi or two, I have learned a little more about you through a friend, and your art. For all those people posting up insulting comments on here, fuck you! As for you grrl, Rest in Peace and maybe we'll meet up one day and you can show me the rest of your artwork :~)

Frances

6:59 am
25/4/2002

i forgot to add something: Renae you're a beautiful person, and I wish you realize that now from up there, realizing all the uglyness in this world. You, compared to billions and trillions were a beautiful person all around and I hope you realize what the world has lost, another person to make you laugh and make you wonder about the different aspects in life through your art. I just hope you realize you will be missed. Okay that's all I have to say because I've been around too many worthless people and I would have loved to have a friend like you. good bye

Jackie	10:13 am 25/4/2002
i didnt get the chance to know you i just see and hear what others say about the loving person you were its sad you had to go like this wish we would of gotten the chance to know each other R.I.P may you always be happy and may all your dreams and wishes come true

Becca	6:39 pm 25/4/2002
i hope you found peace, that you're now happy. that you realise now just how worthwhile you are. i love you

LadyNikki	11:22 pm 25/4/2002
RIP and my love goes out to all of your friends and family

repeater	8:13 am 26/4/2002
I am sorry I didn't talk to you about Veronika more. Maybe it could have helped. Hope you are at peace repeater

Shannon El-Cheikh	4:37 pm 26/4/2002
Renae, I know we didn't always see eye to eye (did I say sometimes? I must have meant never!), but there is no doubt that you will be missed by everyone, including myself. I hope you have found peace. My condolences to all those envolved, and although I could never understand exactly how you feel, for what it is worth I am sorry for the loss. Shannon

jad__	6:43 pm 26/4/2002
I will miss eleg more than anything:( she was a very caring & sensitive person who i wish i could of met in real life. She rang the other nite & played her piano for us & i could feel her love of music through her magnificent playing. Her creativity was always heartfelt whether it was drawing , ceramics or music. My hearfelt wish is that she is happier now & at peace at last. love always jad__

The Sixth Ninja	10:17 pm 26/4/2002
R.I.P Renae , you will be missed greatly.

Tammy d. (rafiki43)	5:14 am 27/4/2002
Well Nae. You kept me alive through a good portion of the last few years. You offered me strength and hope that i didn't have. I'm sorry that i could not do the same. And you were right, nothing in this world could hold you, nothing drag or pull you down. I hope that you found peace, nae. I miss you like i'd miss my right lung. I love you, may you rest in peace. -tammy

Anonymous

11:29 am
27/4/2002

As I walked through the door at the last multi, I was told quite firmly that we were not allowed in until 11.00am. The girl who told me that, was Renae. I didnt know her, so I just thought it was a bit early to be nice. During the night though, she was really nice when I passed her or said the occasional 'hi'. To all her family and friends, I send my deepest condolences. It is always hard when someone dies, but when they die like this....

Erin	4:57 pm 27/4/2002
i didnt know you, i had never spoken to you, just another IRC nick, but it was always there. Its a horrible truth to find that the person behind this nick was suffering so much. Sympathies to your friends and family, everyone speaks beautiful words of you

Schnaps	1:42 pm 28/4/2002
Have a blast Renae, RIP isn't the strong point of any party :) Anyway, I hope you incarnate is some net virus and start scaryng the hell out of maggots :>

Matt De Vincentis (DeVo)	8:25 pm 28/4/2002
nae, thanx for all the wonderfull chats and fun times. We all love you and will miss you greatly....i dont realy know what to say...... RIP seeya l8er :'(

Kate Pedersen	11:09 pm 28/4/2002
Nae, I hadn't spoken to you for quite some time now... But I was still thinking about you all the time. You will be missed inexplicably.

David Goudge (Dalek)	9:36 pm 30/4/2002
Renee, such a sad loss for one who was always so full of life. We only met through BLAM, but every time you always made time to joke around for one reason or another. You made the long sessions seem short, sometimes even singing to the tune from a mobile phone or two. I hope you find happiness at last. David

Aaron (SadSoul-)	4:35 am 31/4/2002
Renae I think I only talked to you once or twice but I know that you will be missed by all, and I hope you are in a better place now. You were only 11 days younger than I and for that reason I feel like I could have talked to you and maybe made a difference. We could have shared our problems and maybe both of us would have felt better. I'm sorry for not talking to you before...

Dominic Fecteau (Prime Force)	5:45 am 31/4/2002
I guess i have been avoiding posting something here, not being able to really grasp that you are gone, nae. I hope that wherever you may be now, you have found a little bit of happiness, and a antique full-size concert grand Boesendorfer with ivory keys :) You meant so much to so many, Rest In Peace Renae.

Ben Singleton	8:53 am 31/4/2002
We only met once but you seemed like a great person. Rest In Peace

MazelaMan	2:09 pm 31/4/2002
Ae bando de fêi! MUita cachaça ae nos peito, muita suruba e soh... Vaum pro caralho e é isso ae... ehhehe falou

Ernie	3:07 pm 31/4/2002
It was apleasure to have taughtyou,learn from you,be a friend. I feel great pain at your going, I have cried many tears for you. You know I understand! I'll miss you friend....sorry I couldn't take enough of the pain for you. Rest easy!

Jen

3:41 pm
31/4/2002

I don't know what i can say to numb this hurt im feeling.
i didn't know you heaps but i what i did know made it entirely worthwhile.
you gave me the strength i needed to get through my pain
i only wish i could have done the same for you.
i could relate to you through that pain because you knew how it felt.
i miss you so much Nae,
i hope you're happy where you are
you deserve all the happiness in the world.
Love Jen

Adrian Millard

3:48 pm
31/4/2002

Renae, I do not know how to go on without you. The pain I cannot bear. I need you to go on, and now I am lone. But I respect the choices you have made, and also how you chose to meet yout end. You taught me more than I could imagine about reality and I know you wanted to do that. But you made reality worth while for me. I feel inside that you are at peace now and I would never ask for anything more. You will always be in my heart, and when I hurt I feel you with me. I didn't often say it but I love you. Goodbye Renae, I will see you when it is my time. Until then I promise to try and go on.

Lee Lasaruk	3:55 pm 31/4/2002
I cannot put into words my feelings. When i first heard i so believed it was a scam or something, i even tried calling your mobile but got no response. I hope wherever you are that your happy. You ment so much to so many people. RIP Ren. You will NEVER be forgotten.

Kristy Botheras

3:58 pm
31/4/2002

Renae,
words cant say how much you have touched me. You gave me so much inspiration to help me in my ceramics and you told me that the things I made, even if they were really bad, that they were good. And I never thanked you for that. I used to watch you drawing in class in year 9 and 10 and I thought you were so talented and that you would go so far. And you have. You can go wherever you want now, cos now your truly free. Your memory will remain in my heart for a long time to come, but your words have changed me for ever. REMEMBER LONDON. I will never forget that story. You made me laugh, even when I didn't want to.
Love always, Kristy.

Courtney Watson

4:09 pm
31/4/2002

Im truly sorry that i didn't get to know you as well as i would have liked. but even from the little about you that i did know, and from watching you from afar, i could tell that you were a exceptionally special and gifted person. you art works are amazing, you should be really proud.

Think of us as you depart, and we promise you fom the botton of our hearts, that we will never forget you, or your name, but promise us you will do the same. Goodbye for now, and take care too, we will always be thinking of you.

This is what you wanted, so be happy, and reach for the stars, because you can really touch them now...

Blessed Be

Ralfy	4:11 pm 31/4/2002
Class was so much better sharing it with somebody like you. When I attended class you always showed me just how beautiful life was and that I was a very lucky person to have had the chance to know you. with all the love of my heart your friend Ralfy P.s I have kept your favourite characters shoes brown. The way you wanted. x x

Ralfy	4:11 pm 31/4/2002
Class was so much better sharing it with somebody like you. When I attended class you always showed me just how beautiful life was and that I was a very lucky person to have had the chance to know you. with all the love of my heart your friend Ralfy P.s I have kept your favourite characters shoes brown. The way you wanted. x x

Jenica Smeal	4:16 pm 31/4/2002
I love you Renae, you have really touched me. Maybe it's too late to say it now, but my love for you will always be here. I feel like we connected and you are truly special to me. I hope that in death you have found the release and freedom you craved. I will miss you forever. Love Jen

Julie	4:27 pm 31/4/2002
I'm sorry for your wasted potential. I remember your energy, your intellect, your distinctive "look" and yourlaugh. I remember the way you would never bloody well concede a point in an argument. Thanks for what you gave to those you loved. You'll always live in their memories. I hope you 're now at peace!

leanne	4:43 pm 31/4/2002
Renae, i'm sorry too that l didn't get to know you better. you will be missed by all, your laugh and the echo of your piano will sound forever in my ears. Rest in peace with the angels.

Linda Kirkman	5:02 pm 31/4/2002
I send affectionate and sad thoughts. Renae was a special person, and deserved a better childhood. The people who cared for and about her in adulthood were wonderful, and my thanks and thoughts go to them.

Tim Wagstaff	5:16 pm 31/4/2002
Renae I'll miss you heaps, you were always online to talk to thanks for all the hugs, I'll miss them most of all. Rest in peace, see you again some time... Waggerz

Terry Hernandez (RallyCat)	1:21 am 1/5/2002
God. I wish there was something I caould say that nears the emptiness that is in my heart now. That was the place that you occupied. I miss you terribly. Goodbye dear.

Adam Osborne (HK2-Eviscerator)

10:57 pm
2/5/2002

Renae, I know we only ever met at BLAM, and I only met you a few times... I sincerely miss the chance I could have had to get to know you better. Even from meeting you just once, it was plain to see what a beautiful person you were. I'll remember you as I listen to "Adrift and at peace", I know you loved the track too. I send my deepest condolences to the friends and family of this wonderful person.

Rest in Peace, Renae.

Kate Pedersen	10:13 pm 3/5/2002
Nae, I hadn't spoken to you for quite some time now... But I was still thinking about you all the time.You will be missed inexplicably.

Felicity	12:23 am 4/5/2002
Dear Renae, Too late to tell you all I need to but I pray for you. I cherish the little teddy and your dry terse comments. Rest in peace, dear one Love Felicity

rune

5:23 pm
6/5/2002

Renae...

It's been an eternity now, or so it seems, and I am still trying to get to grips with the whole thing. You would have loved to hear about the stuff that's been happening to me lately, it's just so ironic and downright fucked up that even I have to laugh at it...

Veronika arrived by mail just yesterday, finally. I haven't started reading it, but I think there's some answer hidden away in there.

I've kept away from writing here because the moment i do, it's an affirmation that it's real. It hurts a lot, and I feel very alone without you. But then again, you helped me through so many moments of darkness, you were there for me when I needed you, and I love you so much for that.

I got the package. It was really special. I got it the day before you went, and I never got to tell you about it, but it made a huge difference.

I hope things are better, I hope you found the peace you never had, and... I just miss you...

Rune Hansen

Kate Pedersen	9:25 pm 7/5/2002
I love you!

163	12:38 am 12/5/2002
Sometimes we annoyed eachother a little, But I loved you, I`m sorry I could`nt help you, I did`nt know everything, I`m sorry for that, I`m sorry that you are just one in many tragedies, I`m sorry, Goodbye friend, I hope you have peace.

Youko	9:49 pm 17/5/2002
Ms. Renae, I never knew you... but I know you are a wonderful person. You've been a very important person in my friend's life. Thank's for sharing your life with him...

Eldest	3:55 pm 20/5/2002
A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age; he dies of being a man. -Percival Arland Ussher Save me a glass of wine and a comfy seat, 'nae.

Owen Knight

1:25 am
2/6/2002

nae, in the short time I knew you, I grew to love you. You have sweetness and honesty where a lot of people are lacking. I wish I had a chance to say goodbye to you.

All I have left are memories of our times together playing constantly in my mind. I can still see you lying next to me with your arms around my back; I can still feel it. I think the memories make me happy, although overwhelmingly sad as well. Thank-you for the times we spent together, and the memories they produced.

I know that being anywhere is better for you than here, I just wish I could have gone with you. I don't beleive in a god, or an afterlife, but I wish I could see you there. I love you more than you or I will ever know, I will miss you always. *hugs* Goodbye my love.

unknown

3:05 am
13/6/2002

I have heard alot about Renae from a friend.. I just wish he had of told me she used mIRC before she decided to end her life.. Maybe talking to someone who simular problems to her's may have helped her.. but no one will know now.. She was always spoken of in a nice way.. no one ever said a bad word about her.. I wish I had the chance to get to know her but sadly I didnt.. My sympathy goes out to all her family and friends.. a lost soul now at rest!

Jenica

1:15 pm
13/6/2002

Renae, I feel I could have understood you better, though I knew in a way deeper than words could say what you were going through. I have learnt a lot about myself in the last month and a half, much of it because of you. I'm grateful for the times we had together, and I wish that I knew then what I know now. I miss you every day. When I'm drunk I think of you and mourn in my drunken haze. When I am in school I think of you and still cry. I walk into our classroom and freeze up; that was like our special place together. Sometimes it was as though we were the only two in the class, I would forget the others were there. Now the times I always looked forward to are gone. Sometimes I go to class thinking of something I want to show you, then realise you won't be there and I nearly can't make myself go. Fuck I miss you. You kept me sane. You were the one truly honest person in my life. I love you. I live my life differently now, all my actions and thoughts are changed because of you. Your legacy is greater than you realised, and I am inexplicably thankful for your existence. You will always hold a special place in my life. But no matter how much I hurt, I am glad you have finally found peace. That is what you always deserved. I love you with all my being.

someonewhocared

2:01 pm
22/7/2002

I cant believe you went ahead and killed yourself! What a fucking waste!

I thought you were stronger Renae, I thought you were more tough-fibred. You certainly seemed tough but perhaps I was mistaken. The shame is that the chemical imbalance which caused your depression could have been managed with medication and the support of good friends. Yet there was no time in your eyes for recovery because of your unqualified belief that suicide was the panacea for your problems. How did such an intelligent girl come to such a completely and utterly wrong conclusion?

No matter how ferociously or intelligently you argued that death was the answer, I felt you questioned your own convictions. Clearly that doubt kept you alive -- or perhaps your philosophical nature kept you alive longer than you wanted. In any case, whatever the impetus, your decision to die was the wrong one.

Your suicide has the makings of a selfish act -- I mean, it takes no effort to opt out of life, to turn your back on the people who loved you. If you were alive, you would see from this page how many people loved you, irrespective of how much you were convinced love didn't exist. Of course love exists -- yet the horror of life was so ingrained in you that you couldn't see the good in people anymore. Whatever psychological trauma you had undergone, there was a way out -- for fuck's sake, what would have it taken for you to see it?!?

I am sorry you have gone, but you were a tortured soul whose life experience dictated your fate. You will undoubtedly be much happier beyond this world.

Rebecca	2:05 pm 18/8/2002
Hey I hope you are resting in piece?

Jenica

11:40 am
19/8/2002

Re: someonewhocared

I don't want to make this page into a debate, but do you really understand how hard it is to take your own life? It is not an easy option, it is scary beyond imagining and one of the most difficult things to do. I respect Renae for having the guts to do what she always wanted to do. I have come very close to doing the same thing several times, but I was too scared to do it. Don't criticise until you've been there yourself.

Rayna

10:44 pm
19/8/2002

I never knew Renae. But this site, and her story, has made me realize that she sounds a lot alike myself. It has helped me to wake up and realize that she could have so easily been me.
Renae must have been a very strong willed person, something I am not.
She was a friend to many, but among them all, a friend to Tim Wagstaff, and that means she is a friend to me also.
RIP Renae, I look forward meeting you when I too, go to the other plane, I only wish you hadn't gone before your time, that I could have perhaps met you.

Jeremie	9:01 pm 30/8/2002
miss you forever..............

Renae Elliott Memorial Page

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