Oh, wait a minute. "Nigger" is a racist term. I certainly wouldn't want to come across as a racist. Damn those racists, I wish they'd all die and go to hell. Maybe "Black"?
So, there was this Bla-
Hang on a sec. It says here in the dictionary that one of the definitions of "Black" is "dirty". Oh, and right beside it, "evil" and "wicked". I certainly don't want to portray anyone as being less-than-pristine. Maybe the term "people of colour" is better.
So, there was this person of col-
Hmm. That just doesn't seem to fit. Everyone I've ever seen happens to have some sort of colouration. Perhaps "Afro-American"?
So, there was this Afro-Ameri-
Fuck. This is Canada. I'll just leave it out altogether.
So, there was this guy-
Hey. I wouldn't want to exclude anyone that happens to be female, would I? That would be male-chauvinistic. I'll change that to "person".
So, there was this pers-
Oh, double-drat! The verb "was" implies that the person actually existed at one time! I certainly can't offend anyone that doesn't exist. And what would the anti-abotionists say?
Maybe I'll just conquer Europe.