Tightly he held the cold metal handle bars to his bright red bicycle. Manny peddled away trying to ride as fast as he could. That was his goal. That was his dream. To be the fastest bicyclist in the world. Faster than cars, faster than planes, faster than light. He just had to be the best. Most people already thought he was the best. But that was good enough for a perfectionist. He would sit up at night, legs swirling around practicing peddling. He had to be the best under all circumstances. Then one day his wish came true.
He was riding along the busy street when he happened to notice a small cardboard box with yellow ribbon sitting on the edge of the road. Manny looked around and saw it had been unclaimed, thought for a moment, then grabbed the box and quickly rode home. Upon opening it, a voice from inside cackled, "I will grant you but one wish if you do the following tasks for me." Manny, stunned, immediately asked what the tasts were and knew exactly what his wish would be. The next day he had completed the tasks and went back to his new friend, the box. "Have you done as I have asked?" the box asked. "Yes, oh great box, I have." "You killed your parents?" "Yes, oh great box, I did." "You painted all the oranges in the supermarket purple?" "Yes, oh great box, I did." "And you super glued the Prime Minister's head to his desk?" "Yes, oh great box, I did." "Very good, now I ask you, what is your wish?" Manny smiled and replied, "To be the fastest bicyclist in the world, faster than anything." "Your wish," the box replied kinda cliche-ish, "is my command." Manny ran outside, excited as ever, jumped on his bike and began peddling. Unfortunately, maybe the box was stupid, maybe it thought it would be fuuny, but Manny traveled faster than the eye could see. It was his legs that began shredding first, as they couldn't keep up with the speed of the pedals and kept getting caught and tearing. Then his face began to peal away like little pieces of tape being pulled off a package. The legs came off completely, Manny screemed, blood blowing behind him in the gusts of wind against him. His eyes were pushed into the back of his skull, his clothes were all gone and he couldn't withstand the wind, forever ripping him to shreds. Manny eventually ended up riding off a cliff and dying a painful and embarrassing death.
The box chuckled, then went about finding another victim for it's evil game of wish. Its out there, it could be in your house. For Manny, for civilization as we know it, please, I beg of you. Smash and burn every suspicious looking cardboard box in your house.