YIP Index

Virtual Surreality

by Finnyy

It began as just a blob. It was silvery in colour and highly reflective, but it didn't like what it was being asked to reflect, so it didn't reflect anything at all. You may say, for simplicity's sake, that it was non-reflective. There was a rack of floodlights aimed at it, which would have caused a blurbed image to sit on it's mirrored surface, if it was in the mood.

Maybe later on.

The blob became a carrot. There was no morphing invovled. The blob did not shift and reshape itself into a carrot. One second there was a blob, the next, there was a carrot.

"Hello," said the carrot to a large hunk of chalk which had just appeared a half a foot in the air above the carrot, dropping to the ground and squishing the carrot into juice.

"So," said the chalk, which promptly became a huge painting. A later Jackson Pollack, I think. "What do you think of it?"

"It's a pretty neat program," said the carrot juice, regrouping itself into Italy.

"Hey!" said several hundreds of thousands of dismayed Italians. "Hey!" said the Pope.

"I'll show you what else it can do," said the Pollack. It grunted as it became a mouse.

"Now then," said the mouse. "Move me to the left a bit."

Italy became an octupus and did so.

"OK, stop. Now hold down my left button and move me a little to the right."

"What'd we just do?" asked the octupus, now an unidentifiable, but somehow biologically obscene lump.

"We turned the program's Weirdness LevelTM up a few notches," said the mouse, which had become, you guessed it, a sort of hybrid between a cockatoo and a block of salt lick.

"Um-hrm. How interesting," said the lump, now a sleeping bag full of lemons and sparrows.

"That's nothing," said the cockatoo-saltlick, and became a mouse again. "Move me up and to the right, and click my left button once."

"Wait a sec," said the sleeping bag. "I have to turn into something with appendages." It turned into a hunk of glass with a stapler inbeded in it, a badly constructed ribcage and an aesthetically pleasing corkboard before it became a duck with arms.

"OK," it said. "Done!"

The duck became a painter with a huge handlebar mustache in front of an easel, and the mouse became a melting pocketwatch.

"Cool!" said the painter. "It's got DaliModeTM!"

"Ya," said the clock, which had become a warped egg. "I can hardly wait'll version 2.11 come out."

Just then, a hole ripped in space and ants began crawling from it.

"Uh-oh, this program's got bugs," said the painter, now an unidentifiable shape being held up by sticks, in a rather annoying and predictable pun. "Quick! Abort!"

Reality hardened around them as they removed the plugs from the jacks just behind their ears.

"Whew! I'm glad that's over."

Reality hardened around them as they removed the plugs from the jacks just behind their ears.

"Whew! I'm glad that's over."

Reality hardened around them as they removed the plugs from the jacks just behind their ears.

"Whew! I'm glad that's over."

Et cetera.

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