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The Suburbanite Party

by Finn

It was the type of party where it was considered "bad behaviour" to get roaringly drunk, but a few people did it anyways. It was a gathering where you met your old girlfriend, whom you date raped 20 years ago (oh, the memories), and you are extremely embarrassed, but she's rather wasted, so she's all huggy-kissy. It was the type of party where people talk about the condition of their houses, and sports, instead of dancing or having a good time.

It was Jane's job to bring in the appetizers. She hated this party, and she hated everyone there. She could stand the suburbs, and she couldn't stand suburbanites. When she brought in a plate full of excrement on crackers, everyone sort of stared at her while she wasn't looking. She could tell. She could feel their eyes on her back. Everyone was taken aback, but they each took a crack, for couth's sake. They all put the appetizer in their mouths, in one, single bite, and then licked their fingers. They smiled to show their appreciation, but Jane could tell they were near gagging.

Then came the pony-girl, who had sex with a mule while the woman tolerated it and the men stared with open mouths.

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