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The Last Crusade of Dr. Snuggles

by The Necromancer

After 8 billion years of life, Dr. Snuggles was running out of adventures to go on. He had saved the forest from many dangers in his life, but things had been rather dry in the last 2 billion of so years. All of his friends were dead and the new animals of the forest mocked him and called him names like "faggot boy" and "puff head" and "cock sucker". He tried to be friendly but they just spit on him. He never became bitter. He was, however, getting bored. A typical day for him consisted of inventing new things to play with and making sure the rest of his toys didn't rust. 2 billion years of neglect had, however, destroy some of his favourites. He was becoming sad.

One day, Dr. Snuggles decided that he couldn't live anymore and decided to invent something that would kill him quickly and painlessly so that he could move on to another world. He set to work making the ultimate suicide machine. He used metal pipes and some purple liquid that even he couldn't identify. He hooked it up and shaped it until it looked like something like a lemur. He named it Sam, after his old friend, and sat down to see if his last creation worked. Flipping a bunch tiny switches which, incidentally, did absolutely nothing but looked nice, and hitting the power button, he prepared for death. When he hooked it up he was very upset. Because of this, he managed to cross the wiring. This caused something very interesting to happen. It came to life and ran out the door.

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