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Sirs of Gum

Once upon a time, in a far, far away place, there lived Sir Pumpernickel. Sir Pumpernikle, you often changed his last name without thinking twice was a not-so-brave knight. Sir Pumperpickle had a problem, he lacked the ability to chew gum. All the other knights laughed at him, made fun of him, and often teased him when he was a younger squire.

Ever since his first mocking, Sir Pomplemousse has become very bitter and been determined to learn how to chew gum like a normal, hetereosexual mammal. He would nibble his tongue all day long, occaisionally biting too hard and spraying blood everywhere, but he didn't mind. He occaisionally tried on some gum for size, but he just couldn't do it. Sometimes he swallowed the gum, sometimes he chewed it into little pieces, sometimes it escaped from his mouth and fell in some manure (seeing as Sir Pimplennicle often hung around Manureland fun park), and other times it just blends into his mouth. He felt it annoying.

He was quite a prestegous knight, but it was known to all that he couldn't chew gum, at the great games of Manureland, while all the other knights chewed gum, he didn't.. And was often stared at for this disibility, you might call it. Anyways, he went over to the great Morlock, who could do anything for he possessed great power, unlike any other wizard of the land.

Morlock cast a spell on Sir Pampleous tongue to make it more gum-friendly, but no, the tongue refused. Suddenly, there was a noise outside the window (well, open space) of Morlock's castle. A large dragon had just come to Manureland, and he was spiteful. They rushed back to main Manureland, where they saw the dragon locked in a passionate embrace with Sir Celery. Their mouths were linked, and gobs of saliva flowed from where they joined. "How touching," thought Sir Pemplequarter, until suddenly the dragon stood up, spit out Sir Selerie's face, and kept his gum. This dragon was seeking gum, and was willing to kill to get it.

Sir Pampeleon, who was a friend of Sir Zeleries, from the time they were children (Sir Zelergod, never ever teased Sir Mampeleon), rushed to rescue Sir Zelermond, but thrust his Stileto in the back of the dragon , cause the dragon to fall. Sir Mampeliquistynot, scattered from where he was to Sir Zeckonmon to see if he was alright. A bad mistake for Sir Maplequsyes indeed, for the dragon was still alive, but reviewing his options, flew away, to safety, until the knight and the dragon could meet once again.

The two knights mocked the dragon as it flew away, although Sir Zelerusyes had no face and hence could not mock as heartily. Sir Maplerusyes made up for this by mocking twice as hard. He was about to finish the mock in the traditional Manurish fashion of showing one's gum, when he remembered that he had none. He wept, sadly, like so much cheeze.

Sir Maple, was quite offended at this, and not thinking about it, slashed at Sir Zapelous, not meaning to kill him, but just maim. Unfortunately, he missed, and therefore, Sir Zaplon had a chance to fight back.

Sir Zapelon quickly whipped out a large rubber stick and began beating Sir Zapelus in the head region. Fortunately for Sir Zapelos, he had no head, so Sir Zapelos missed every time. Now it was Sir Zapelos's turn to get revenge on Sir Zapelos. Unfortunately, the identical names confused him so greatly that he killed himself by accident.

Later, Morlock dug a small hole and dove in, breaking all his head bones.

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