"All inanimate objects talk to each other," said the professor triumphantly. "All we need do is figure out how! I know as a fact that they have one language, so we don't need to waste time figuring out how to talk to rocks only to find out later that plastic is much more interesting to talk to."
A group of people listened to the professor. They all thought basically the same thing. This is what they thought: "This guy is fucked up."
"Nice day today," said one man's shirt.