Satan peered closer at the man with the hat. "Most mortals cringe at the thought of their soul belonging to me... why don't you take off your hat?"
"Religious reasons..." responded the man. His hat said nothing.
Satan thought for a moment. "The things you desire I can grant, however, I wonder why you think I will do you two favours for your one soul."
"I have a coupon," said the man, as though it were the only thing in his veins.
Satan looked at the man again. "Wait a second!" he cried. "I know you. You're the man with the raincoat."
"No, I am but a man with a hat." The hat seemed to confirm the man's tale, even from up there on his head.
Satan shook his head sadly. "You can't keep selling your soul over and over. You've tricked me into buying it eight times already. Well, your silly disguises won't work anymore, so you might as well stop. I mean, c'mon."
"I can stop anytime, I just need the money right now." pleaded the man. "That's what you said the last time," began Satan. "You need help." "I can't believe you'd treat your best customer like this," said the man, "NICE customer service."
Satan wept bitter tears, and escorted the man out. Moments later, a man with a scarf entered.
"Satan, I assume. I will get right to it: I want money, and lots of it. I also want to be popular with the women, if you know what I mean..."
Satan thought for a moment. "The things you desire I can grant, however, I wonder why you think I will do you two favours for your one soul."
"I have a... gift certificate."