"Ow" -Jesus, on the Cross
"Oh ya? Well my dad can damn your dad to eternal torment." -Jesus, as a boy
"Red is not blue." -Maelstrom
"What wild goose chase?" -The Finn
"Jesus lives in my heart, because the rent is cheap." -Xenomorph
"Figs are weird." -Maelstrom
"May the llama dip be with you." -Treebeard
"When the moon hits your eyes, hit it back.. harder." -Rubanicas
"Lead, follow or have a face." -Nitro
"Moo." -Ancient cow proverb
"Oh sure. Like cheeze has a choice." -Xenomorph
"Toast makes the world go round." -Mam'zelle Hepzibah
"Love is like a lamp emersed in boiling lava." -The Finn
"If you sit anywhere long enough, you'll die." -The Sphyramid
"Life in a small barrel can be entertaining, sometimes." -Strandman
"Jesus needed a better lawyer." -Milky Puppy
"OK, guys, lemme down. I was only kidding." -Jesus, on the cross
"I'm itchy." -Jesus, on the cross.
"If the world were really the size of a globe or a map, it's be pretty damn small... Only one person would fit, so I'd have to knock you all off. Nothing personal." -The Finn
"If I had a hammer, I would NOT hammer all day long. What do I look like? Some kinda fuckin' psycho?" -The Finn
"Windows are just our imagination. There's really nothing there." -The Finn
"Fish = salad Glass = Water + Sand Paper = Nazi - Asia / Line, therefore, cheebah is God." -The Finn
"Where would we be without wood?" -The Finn
"With a knife, ANYTHING is possible." -The Finn
"If Jesus wasn't crusified, t would be just another letter of the alphabet..." -The Finn
"Jello. Need I say more?" -Xenomorph
"Procreation starts with heated liver and some naughty magazines" -Totenbuch Christ
"I'm 'exploring' myself right now. Hey, what's this?" -Totenbuch Christ
"It's sort of like a goat, only different" -Totenbuch Christ
"God is dead" -Nietzche
"They mock themselves and say, 'You are absurd enough to wish to live'" -The Books of Neo-Ostrogothism
"Books, says the Neo-Ostrogoth to the world, are large" -The Books of Neo-Ostrogothism
"Neo-Ostrogothism is rather odd" -The Books of Neo-Ostrogothism
"I kill only to know that I'm alive" -Ministry
"Taxes will keep democracy on the march" -Spirit of '43
"Taxes to keep them flying. Taxes to keep them rolling. Taxes to keep them coming. Taxes to beat to earth the evil destroyer of freedom and peace" -Spirit of '43
"There never was a great genius without a tincture of madness" -Aristotle
"Morality is the Frankenstein monster of the mind" -The Books of Neo-Ostrogothism
"Do have respect, they must except a world committing suicide" -Skinny Puppy
"I am luging down the bridge of my nose" -Cold
"I'm stinking drunk now. I hope I'm happy." -The Finn
"I have enough co-ordination to pick this hair off my arm, I can surely drive" -The Finn (drunk)
"Something spilt on the carpet. It won't be happy." -The Finn (drunk)
"If they torture people, they should get them drunk first, that way they won't feel as much" -The Finn
"Happy people are miserable unless they're sad!" -The Finn
"I just didn't care enough to lift my arm" -The Finn (drunk, in response as to why he didn't catch a ball)
"If I was proud of something, I wouldn't shave it off. For example, my penis." -The Finn
"Why would I cut off something that would cause me pleasure? You wouldn't cut off your cunt." -The Finn
"I feel like puking now, but I don't, cause that would be uncouth" -The Finn (drunk)
"Give me $6.34 and I'll build you Utopia!" -Totenbuch Christ
"I don't know about you, but the statue of Liberty is looking kind of hot" -Totenbuch Christ
"Like two frogs: You suck" -Totenbuch Christ
"The passion for destruction is also a creative passion" -Bakunin
"There should be a law against crazy ducks" -Totenbuch Christ's theory of life
"Dead children from here to Utopia and back!" -Totenbuch Christ
"Fuck, SS envy just hit me!" -Totenbuch Christ
"To die with glory in the Waffen SS: Alas, to dream" -Totenbuch Christ
"Arbeit Macht Frei (Work Brings Freedom)" -Sign over the gates of Nazi concentration camps
"I don't know about you, but I'm willing for a rematch at Kursk!" -Totenbuch Christ
"Fuck. I just realized. Six people can't fit into my shower!" -Totenbuch Christ
"Time to recycle. Let's start with the third world nations." -Totenbuch Christ
"Freedom isn't free" -US Military Slogan
"There were no crimes on the Eastern Front!" -Totenbuch Christ
"I saw Athena in the clouds today; what a babe; what a spear!" -Totenbuch Christ
"You know what they say... its time to melt" -Totenbuch Christ
"There are only two chickens left by now. Which one is you?" -Totenbuch Christ
"Whenever you need a rubber chicken, there's not one in sight. I hate that!" -Totenbuch Christ
"Imagine, if you will, three chickens. Which one is guilty?" -Totenbuch Christ
"Give me liberty, or give me $5.37" -Totenbuch Christ
"I always feel sorry for the last chicken. But such is the way of things." -Totenbuch Christ
"I see divinity in the Waffen SS. Perhaps I'm just being silly again." -Totenbuch Christ
"Find out how to save the world for only $1!" -Totenbuch Christ
"What's that in the ketchup? Wait? Is that your penis?" -Totenbuch Christ
"Let's create. Let's make art. Let's have some cereal." -The Necromancer
"Sorry officer, how am I to know she's only 8?" -Totenbuch Christ
"Nazi War Criminal? Ummm... No. Try the next user." -Totenbuch Christ
"It's kind of like doing your mother" -Totenbuch Christ
"This is a place of business!" "You got a big mouth?" -An Angry Harvey's Manager
"I'll meet you at Islington in five minutes" -Totenbuch Christ
"So Nietzche and this chicken are playing tennis, when the chicken says..." -Totenbuch Christ
"All I need is a Big Mac, lots of Masterbation and a copy of 'Desert Fox'" -Totenbuch Christ
"When I was a kid, I could achieve an erection to, it was no big deal" -Totenbuch Christ
"How is your labia this evening? It looks nice next to the moon." -Totenbuch Christ
"Have you read W.L.P.W.W.T.W.B.A.A.O.S.L.? It's very nice." -Totenbuch Christ
"God is dead. Labia is god. Therefore, Labia is dead." -Totenbuch Christ
"...I'll meet you in Asia in five minutes" -Milky Puppy
"You don't. In Greek you do though. Silly rekcuF!" -The Necromancer
"If it's not a Panther, then I don't want to fuck it" -The Necromancer
"Honestly Officer, I didn't know she was 8. I thought she was 4." -The Necromancer
"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Ooops, that's a butter knife." -The Necromancer
"Real freedom will come when it doesn't make any difference whether you live or not. That's the final goal." -Dostoyevsky
"If you have enough of anything in your mouth, you can always blow a bubble with it" -The Golden Rodent
"I have always been regretting that I was not as wise as the day I was born" -Thoreau
"Neckties strangle clear thinking" -Lin Yutang
"Do you find that coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?" -Anonymous
"Even a thought, even a possibility, can shatter us and transform us" -Nietzsche
"Impossible that a thing so natural, necessary, and universal as death, should have been designed by Providence as evil to humanity" -Anonymous
"Inactivity is death" -Mussolini
"The wise learn many things from their foes" -Aristophanes
"What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness" -Leo Tolstoy
"There is no hope for any speculation that does not look absurd at first glance" -Bohr
"The only difference between myself and a madman is that I am not mad" -Salvador Dali
"All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream" -Edgar Allen Poe
"To be awake is to be alive. I have never met a man who was quite awake. How could I have looked him in the face?" -Thoreau
"All paid employments absorb and degrade the mind" -Aristotle
"It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being" -John Mill
"The Moral Majority: The people our ancestors came here to escape" -Gloria Steinem
"Double - no triple - our troubles and we'd still be better off than any other people on earth" -Ronald Reagan
"No phenomenon with so much destructive feeling as moral indignation, which permits envy or hate to be acted out as virtue" -Anonymous
"Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public" -H.L. Mencken
"Tapioca: Our lumpy friend" -David Letterman
"What I do may not be very reputable but I am. In this town I'm the leper with the most fingers." -Jake Gilles (Chinatown)
"My hands feel kind of numb.... Hey! Who cut off my arms?" -The Finn
"How can you look at shoes and say 'Oh yeah, much better than boots'?" -Totenbuch Christ
"Every thing has been thought of before, but the problem is to think of it again" -Johann W. von Goethe
"In every work of genious we recognize our own rejected thoughts" -Ralph Waldo Emerson
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves" -John Wayne
"In America immediately after World War II, anti-semitism reached peaks never before attained, despite all Nazi contributions to our universal conscience; and the literature of the period will bear me out" -Anonymous
"No matter what side of an arguement you're on, you always find some people on your side that you wish were on the other side" -Jascha Heifetz
"There is nothing in the moving world but mind itself" -Hindu sutra
"The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance" -Aristotle
"Ideas are like children, yours are the best" -Anonymous
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer" -Thoreau
"If death did not exist today, it would be necessary to invent it" -Voltaire
"If you see the Buddha on the road, kill him"
"If you toured India at the speed of light, you would see nothing, but you would see it all at once" -Anonymous
"If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?" -Reagan on details, per Garry Trudeau
"In proportion as a person simplifies his or her life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex" -Thoreau
"In the beginning there was nothing. Then God said 'Let there be light' and there was still nothing but at least you could see it"
"It is a great delusion that one only loves one person" -Henrik Ibsen
"Men fight for freedom; then they begin to accumulate laws to take it away from themselves" -Anonymous
"Men use thoughts only to justify their wrong-doing, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts" -Voltaire
"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo" -H.G. Wells
"Never interrupt a silence unless you can improve on it" -Richard H. Needham
"One ought to write only when one leaves a piece of one's flesh in the inkpot each time one dips one's pen" -Tolstoy
"Only one in a million is awake enough for intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred million to a poetic or divine life" -Thoreau
"Pardon him - he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature" -GBS
"Parodies and caricatures are the most penetrating of criticisms" -Aldous Huxley
"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel" -Samuel Johnson
"Perception is the only reality" -Anonymous
"Pornography and sentimentality go hand in hand. They both lie about sex" -J. Kosinski
"Pressed into service means pressed out of shape" -R. Frost
"Religion is the opiate of the masses" -Karl Marx
"Say what you have to say, not what you ought. Any truth is better than make-believe" -Thoreau
"Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow" -Oscar Wilde
"Society attacks early when the individual is helpless" -B.F. Skinner
"Somebody's boring me...I think it's me" -Dylan Thomas
"Speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap rhythms for bears to dance, while we long to make music that will melt the stars" -Flaube
"Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of anything is crap"
"The Earth is like a grain of sand, only much much heavier" -Kehlog Albran
"The Earth, that is sufficient" -Walt Whitman
"The Moral Majority is neither"
"The average man who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever" -Anatole France
"The brain is impossibly complicated - if it were simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it" -Lyall Watson
"The gods exist because nature herself has imprinted a conception of them on the minds of men" -Cicero
"The individual is not accountable to society for his actions, insofar as these concern the interests of no person but himself" -Anonymous
"The lamp of genius burns more rapidly than the lamp of life" -Franz Schiller
"The material was pure, and his art was pure; how could the result be less than wonderful?" -Thoreau
"The more insight I obtain into human nature, the more convinced I become that most of a man is purely animal" -HM Stanley
"The poet's business is not to save the soul of man but to make it worth saving" -James Elroy Flecker
"The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths the mind travels" -Thoreau
"The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel" -Horace Walpole
"The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?" -Picasso
"There are two classes of men in this world: Intelligent men without religion and religious men without intelligence" -Anonymous
"There is nothing less passionate than duty" -Anonymous
"There is nothing permanent except change" -Heraclitus
"This Universe never did make sense; I suspect that it was built on government contract" -Robert Heinlein
"This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper" -T.S. Eliot
"To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization" -Arnold Toynbee
"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady" -Wilson Mizner.
"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, till the last syllable of recorded time.." -Shakespeare
"Two and two equals five if Hitler says so" -Goering
"Vagueness is OK"
"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent" -Lorne Bozinoff
"Violence never settles anything" -Genghis Khan
"WARNING! Scenes of violence and sexuality may offend" -Theatres Branch Ont.
"War cannot for a single minute be separated from politics" -Mao Tse-tung
"We are all guilty of all the good we didn't do" -Voltaire
"We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and blood and bones" -Thoreau
"Whatever crushes individuality is despotism, by whatever name it may be called" -John Stuart Mill
"When your only tool is a hammer, you tend to treat everything like a nail" -Abraham Maslow
"Why level downward to our dullest perception always, and praise that as common sense?" -Thoreau
"You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't count on having them both at once" -Lazarus Long
"Just you, me and Mr. Chain" -Totenbuch Christ
"Fun with Genetics: 100 Things to do with your Mother" -Strandman
"The only truth I know Is the look in your eye" -Ministry
"Sparks of creativity, energy for the facist screens" -Waffenpudding