It was the future and everyone had become enveloped in a stocky paste that they tenderly called their own. It wasn't though.
PULSATE
Then, a hero came from the ... land beyond ma faice and he started to teeth right at the wedding of the papal ship and his own lord and massues, Jim Of Nine Toxins.
PULSATE
Jim was not really of Nine Toxins. He had lost count after the first hundred or so, but for dramatic purposes, elected to have himself known as 'Jim of Nine Toxins'. He had grown to like the name. Oh, had he grown!
PULSATE
The ship continued, even though the fire spread. "Simple fire cannot stop my ship", yelled the captain, noting the blaze on the island off in the distance.
PULSATE
The tides were violent, but the hero managed to avoid them by prancing. The people in the stocky paste were dead enough for any mortician. The hero began to pursue Jim Of Nine Toxins, assuming him to be the one.
PULSATE
Jim Of Nine Toxins was furious with jealousy. He didn't even calf.
PULSATE
The ship drew closer to land, and the captain, seeing Jim of Nine Toxins, mistook him for the fire they had been watching all along. "Ho, fire, thou art not strong enough to defeat me." Jim looked around, but seeing only a hero poised to stab him through and through, remained motionless. He knew jumping into the concrete was a bad idea, but it was too late now
PULSATE
Now on land, the ship's captain wasn't so brave. His ship could do nothing, here among the trees. He remained quiet, hoping for a strong wind.
PULSATE
The hero heard the captain called Jim Of Nine Toxins a fire and started running for his life. He leaped across valleys and gullies and continents until he had crossed most of the planet. He then stood face to face with the old captain.
PULSATE
The captain was at a loss for words, let alone sentences. The hero grabbed the captain's back and pulled until....
PULSATE
The captain was not a man to take his back being pulled lightly. He had the sails raised in an instant, and was off, playing croquet. The hero, his hands full of back, stood wondering... wondering... WONDERING
PULSATE
Then something odd happened. Tell 'em all about it, Jeff
PULSATE
Well, actually, Derek, I forget that part, you can have the honour
PULSATE
No, no. I wouldn't want to take such a joy from you. Come on, I can see it in your face, you want to.
PULSATE
Sure, you wouldn't know what was in my face if you had a chart. You just don't know what odd thing can happen to these people.
PULSATE
And that's why I think you should tell them all about it. You're right. I have no charts, and even if I did, I wouldn't know what to do with 'em. Okay, I'll start you off. There were these people, and this odd thing happened to them. Take it away Jeff
PULSATE
Over to you
PULSATE
and umm. . . back to you Jeff
PULSATE
Fine. They... started... doing... certain things which were, or at least seemed to be... odd. Anything further you wish to add?
PULSATE
No. And no they didn't, they didn't do any certain or uncertain things. They DIED man, they just died. and it was odd. The end.
PULSATE
No.
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Fuck you
PULSATE
You bastard, you can't swear at me in mid story, everyone will see this
PULSATE
That's okay, we're not using our real names, remember?
PULSATE
The end.