Thirteen boys stood together near the water fountain in the mall. They all wore hats of various sports teams. Their apparel consisted mainly of loose blue jeans and various sport team jackets, though a few exceptions were tolerated. The hair was generally cut everywhere but the top and front of the head and then combed back.
"Yeah, I know eh?" said one. They all laughed.
"So, what do you gus want to do?" said one.
"Dunno," mumbled a few.
"We could go over to BK," said one.
"Yeah, are you gonna pay?" one asked. They all laughed. This was humour.
"No way man," said the one who had suggested going to Burger King. There was a bit more laughter. The times they had!
"Yeah," said one, who hadn't said anything for a moment or two.
One of them belched. They all broke into insane laughter. "Oh that was rude man," said one of them. More laughter ensued.
"I'm gonna call Sherri," said one.
"Send my love," said another. They all laughed, thoroughly.
"Yeah, sure," said the first one. More laughter.
"Good," said the other. A bit more laughter.
"Sure is," said the first. More laughter, but with a calmness that informed both boys that they could squeeze no more laughter out of the posse. The first walked away towards the phone, strutting in a way which seemed to say "My god I am tough." His hands were rolled up inside his sleeves for good measure.
The remaining boys were now stuck for conversation. One had an idea. "Anyone got any smokes?" he offered.
"Yeah," said one, but cleverly made no move to get them. The subtle humour which lay in this deliberate misinterpretation of intent went over the heads of most of the boys, but one started laughing and the rest joined in for fun.
"Well, are you going to give me it or what?" said the first. More enthusiastic laughter. They got it now!
"Like I'd give you a smoke!" said the other. More laughter. Not quite as enthusiastic, but good enough that the first was willing to attempt to squeeze out a little more.
His pathetically shrivelled brain attempted to think of something mildly amusing. He knew the simple reply "Yeah" wouldn't work here. Not funny enough. Time for the bigger ammunition. "Fuck you," came the reply, with a wry smile to display that he wasn't serious. And the crowd went wild. They were really reeling. Swearing, ha ha!
"Yeah, in yer dreams, bud," said the other, really trying to coast on this extremely successful wave of conversation.
The sudden batch of 'naught naughty' style laughter informed the first that this wave still had some life left in it, and he would ride that wave until the water was still as a board. "No, in your dreams, maybe, pal!" came his attempt at wit. It wasn't anything special, but that didn't matter, the crowd was in a frenzy. Raucous laughter drew attention from passersby. Attention had been achieved!
"NOT!!" blurted the other. This was the best fun he had ever had. It really was. His friends were really impressed with his use of this little snipet of insta-sarcasm. How craftily he had employed it! He was obviously a wit lord.
The first was stuck for any comeback to "NOT!!". He knew damn well that there was no beating "NOT!!", and that now the conversation would have to end. He was happy it had ended on such an up note, though he felt perhaps it would've been better to employ "NOT!!" a bit later when the humour started to fade. He was the type who preferred a less-thrilling but longer lasting roller coaster ride. Having no reply, he began to laugh with the rest. What mirth. What great friends. The times they had!
Another lull. One who hadn't participated in any of the mirth (except as a laugh track) now decided he must be noticed, or maybe he wouldn't be invited to 'hang' next time. Looking at the fountain inspired him. Leaning over the rail, he reached into the water and grabbed a loonie. Proud laughter followed.
As the risk taker dried off the loonie on his Raiders coat, a grey-coated security guard grabbed him by the shoulder. "Come with me," he said.
"What for?" asked the boy, trying to look resentful, but actually rather scared.
"Just come," said the security guard and began pulling the boy by the arm, away from the posse.
"Have fun!" called one of the boys. They all laughed.
The risk taker smiled ironically and gave them the finger, increasing their laughter.