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I feel nice.

By The Finn

I sat and watched and laughed as the dark guy pumped the knife in and out of my gut obscenely. He wimpered. I consoled him and helped as he stuffed my face into a blender and turned it on 'shred'. Fun. The dark guy left me to my own devices, and I burnt in eternal flame. Starving children with slabs of meat hung around their necks asked me for money. I gave them a smile and shooed them off politely.

And Earthquake split the ground in halves and swallowed up serveral innocent pedestrians and few buildings which contained thousands of people. I was amused. Whatever place I was in got hit with chemical/conventional/nuclear warheaded missiles and I enjoyed seeing the place's inhabitants dying in various ways. What a joke life can be! Some of the people exploded like mushrooms, while others jerked and convulsed until this muscles melted and ran like wet putty out of their body cavities. But the ones that lost all their hairs and teeth to nuclear fallout and were slowly mutilated generation-by-generation until evolution took a big step back and they simply didn't have the equipment to reproduce, or even live anymore really cracked me up. Some of them were eaten by other mutants and some of them just died. You don't see humor like that anymore.

But, now all the people are dead and I'm all alone with no-one to make me laugh and I'm miserable. A kitten walks up to me and trips and falls and I start to chuckle but it gets up, licks itself off, and walks away. I decide to stop...

But, here comes the dark guy, and he's got some new toys... Life is OK after all.

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