"How bout we call him Bitch?"
"No, too insulting. The teachere would laugh at him during attendance."
"Let's try Eelskin."
"No, some might think it's disgusting. I know, let's name him consider me dead."
"No, cause when they put his name at the bottom of his hospital bed the doctors will laugh and ignore him."
"I've got it! Ill Faced retarded Mental Son of a Cheap Slutty Whore, Who Can't Play Drums For Beans."
"Na, if he ever tried to play drums in the band they'd scoff. How about Hackneyed War-mongering Chillin Biftech on Hypoacid Competing With Jump-holdin Suicidal Paranoid Boice From Up South."
"It just won't catch on... how about Technolovin' Ultralord of Fish Baited by Cheap Mademoiselle in Painted Robes and Abiding Nacho Supreme."
"Too conceited. I dig Jim."
"Okay, but officially James. That way he can choose between Jim, James, Jamie, Jimmy or Bogus Snorklefished Motherfucker from Philly."
"Good idea."
In come the candles...