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THIS IS THE TITLE OF MY STORY

By Nicotine

Flower pots were arranged concentrically around George, as he looked around passively for an escape. The pots were moving swiftly and soon they would overtake his liver, and use it for some evil plan that the herbicidal scientists had feared for years. In this panic his sister came over and poured urine over her brothers head. She was in this manic plot too! He tried to jump over them but the quick ferns were already wrapping themselves over his sweet ankles. The potted Habiscus turned on the radio to Q-107 and proceeded to devour the urine coated forehead of the frantically kicking George. The tasmanian vine got the scalpal and began surgery without anethesia to remove his healthy liver. Of course he wouldn't have done the surgery if had known that plants can't operate, but he was not omniescent. Carefully they put the liver that was dripping blood into the kelvinator refridgerator when they were done. Horatio at this time was involved in some Shakesperean play and was interrupted during the rehersal by the ringing of the telephone. As he answered he became quite peeved when the party at the other end refuse to give him 5 million reasons why he shouldn't pick his clothes from the cleaners. " HEY HORATIO, WERE COMING TO GET YOU !" , said the voice. He hung up immediately because the nazi 's were coming to get him because he knew the square root of two correct to fifty decimal places. How thoughtful thought mary as she sniffed at the box of dog shit that somehad sent her. Mmmmm she quietly whispered to the atmosphere as she placed the shit in a vase and sang the funky cold medina . Unfortunately her neighbours had forgotten to bring the cheese to the movies and they had nothing to throw during the interlude. She also forgot her money and was inadvertantly killed for such a crime. After that she recieved a check from the government for doing such a good job by breaking an international air ring single handedly. Lucky for her she brought her magnets to the airport and rounded up all the caterpillers off the runway in the morning before they all got squished under the Jumbo Jet's tires all kinds. But she was dead and the check didn't matter anymore. The government was just pretending to be nice but they mailed the money after they knew she was dead and they knew that they would get the money back anyway. Over and Over the little kid at the park would push the swing and stand their until it swung back and hit him square in the nose. After the thirty second repetition the policeman came over and questioned the kid what the fuck he was doing. He was given an explanation and the cop started to pull moons to all the mothers with kids. Nice park, really. Now the shit was happening. George woke up to find his liver being fried for breakfast by his possesed sister. He screamed to god - I want a fucking smartie - now! Unless it was blue he would not be able to call it blue. It was the only means of unpossesing his sister. Shit he said as he mailed another letter to himself to pretend he was popular. His sister cut off her elbow and added to the the frying pan. Nice , real nice, he thought as he ripped of the clothes of his fuck-me-till-I'm-dead-BARBIE. He felt satisfied as he chucked the used dripping doll out into the happy glad garbage-fucking bag. How graceful he thought. How had he been able to tolerate this household for so long? Fortunately he found his happy pills and dropped three onto his palate, counted carefully to ten and popped them into his mouth. He felt happy. The policeman received a message over his walkie-talkie and he started to talk slowly. "No! I don't feel like crusing in the car right now." "What do you mean that I'm fired. Fuck you!" A bird flew over gracefully. (This is highly thematic) A cowboy junkie walked by and shook his head. The nazis came over in a Volkswagen bus and knocked on George's door. He came to the door and answered it with a huge grin on his face. "Hi guys!"

"Give me the formula NOW!"

"But I forgot my toothbrush at Rob's house."

"Hans, get me the portable torture chamber."

"You wouldn't happen to have some smarties would you?"

"Kill him!"

"I feel like a beer right now."

"Thats funny",says Hans,"You don't look like a beer." Suddenly the huge marigold experiment ran out from the backyard and pummeled the vicious nazis over the head with a weed eater. George fell over and screamed to his sister to get him zee zoo poo. With forceful laughter he heaved in disgust at the moments that preceeded the landing of the bird shit on the road. How pleasant he thought. The experiment had been a sucess! The hericidal physicists had perfected the watch plant and were currently trying to discover some undiscovered prehistoric bicycle. Now that it had been proven, George ran inside to do the wild thing with his sister who was still busy delimbing herself with a comb. A dull one at that. He checked the time and screamed. He had forgotten that he couldn't read those thoroughly difficult clocks with two hands. Within the time frame of two point two seconds the earth shook so violently that George thought that he hit his sisters G spot. Oh shit! He forgot that the people's court was on right now. He chucked his sister into the portable torture chamber and she began to sing. Lovely he thought. Instead of the peoples court their was a news flash about a cop who went awol and some kid who smashed in his forehead politely at the community park. They probably had blue smarties, thought George. What was this neighbourhood coming to? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH x 5

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