Look here, you bunch of rowdy bastards - I've had about enough of your crap.
You're all going to hell.
1939 22:39 JESUS
(Don't worry everyone, the old man's just having a relapse)
1939 22:40 GOD
Hey! I'll have you know I just took my medication!
Breasy Hands! Breasy Hands! You can see right through them!
1939 22:41 GOD'S MOTHER
Shut up, you two!
I can hear you bickering all the way from the den!
Now, settle down and be good omnipresent beings.
(Knit)
1939 22:41 JESUS
She always liked you best, you whiner.
1939 22:42 GOD
Why don't you get a haircut, you lousy hippie!
The sixties are over!
(fuckin' no-good freeloader)
1939 22:43 JESUS
Why don't you go and burn a bush, you lousy excuse for a supreme being!
And you call that a suit? I've seen monkeys with better taste than that!
1939 22:45 GOD
At least some inbred morons didn't nail me to a piece of wood!
Nyah Nyah some messiah you make, you long-haired freak!
1939 22:52 JESUS
Oh yeah?!
At least people believe in me, you washed-up has-been. Nobody buys into that flowing robe crap anymore - you're old news, like polyester.
And besides, at least I can get a date on Saturday night!
1939 22:53 SOME WHITE GUY
Hey - you leave Saturdays out of this!
1939 22:54 GOD AND JESUS
Oh, what do you know, white boy? why don't you just run home to mommy?
1939 22:54 GOD^2
I've had enough of this - you're all banished.
1939 22:56 THE FUNNY POLICE
I'm sorry - those messages fall under directive 12-A Section 2 of the Unfunnny Code. I'm afraid you're all under arrest for attempted jockularity.
You have the right to remain silent....
1939 22:57 GOD (REMORSEFUL)
Aw sucks, officer - we didn't mean it to be stupid and pointless. We really tried to be funny.
It's these damn taxes...
1939 22:58 JESUS (SMARMY)
Racism! Racism! You're keepin' the messiah down!
Oppessors!
1939 22:59 THE FUNNY POLICE
(These damn messiahs are all the same...)
Yeah, right buddy. Turn around and put your hands on the hood.
1939 23:00 JESUS' NEIGBOUR
He was such a quiet man - he read a lot.
1939 23:02 JUDGE HAWTHORN
Jesus Christ, defendant #1252822-1. How do you plead to the charge of attempted jockularity and resisting a good joke?
1939 23:04 JESUS' LAWYER
My client pleads not guilty due to temporary guiltiness.
1939 23:05 JUDGE HAWTHORN
Jehovah, Case number #12584893-Wo-Wo. How do you plead to the charge of being out of fashion in a modern society?
1939 23:08 GOD'S DENTIST
His dental work pleads not guilty. Just look at those molars!
1939 23:08 JESUS
The man's keepin' me down!
This never would have happened in the hood with the brothahs'!
anarchy!
1939 23:10 JUDGE HAWTHORN
I find the defendant, Jesus Christ, guilty in the first degrre, and sentence him to 30 years hard cereal making.
I find the other defedant, God, not guilty due to excellent dental hygene.
The court is ajurned.
1939 23:10 COLLECTIVE SIGH
sigh