YIP Index
Michael Press was a small man. He was, in fact, a very small man. About
5'1' to be exact. He had that annoying habit that almost all small people
possess, which is tacking an extra fraction of an inch on to his height
whenever he told people how tall he was. "Five foot One and three quarters",
he would reply when asked. No one believed him, but it kept him happy, and
that's all that really counts. Michael had a secret desire that he told
only to his best friends. He wanted to become a basketball star. But he
realized that this just was not possible, and had consequently never touched
a basketball in his life. Never set foor on a court. Never even attended a
game. So not only were his dreams pitiful because of his height, but also
because he didn't have the faintest clue as to how to play the game at all.
But there was one thing Michael was good at. And that was fishing. He would
go out and fish on weekends and holidays. Every spare moment he had, he used
to catch fish. Little fish, big fish, it didn't matter to him. As long as it
was in water, he would catch it. One day he was in his backyard (which,
incidentally was set on a lake) fishing, and he got a nibble. So he began to
tug. The fish tugged back. This exchange went on for four or five hours
until Michael finally pulled the fish up on shore. It was HUGE! In fact,
it was taller than Michael himself. He looked at the fish and noticed a
sparkly silver line going from the fins to the head. It looked surprisingly
like a zipper. Sure enough, when Michael looked more closely, it was a zipper.
Michael unzipped the fish and discovered that it wasn't a fish after all. It
was a man. The man was dead. His loafers were ruined. Michael went inside to
call the police.
The police came, looked at the body, and asked Michael for his fishing
license. Michael did not have a fishing license. The police took him
away. Michael was given a life sentence for first degree murder, and
fishing without a license.
YIP Index