Gwen was a very shy girl, even ashamed of herself at times. She had nothing to be ashamed of, for she was basically without defects of any sort, except for her lack of confidence. She would hang around in her room most of the time and read books about people who led more interesting lives.
Her parents worried about her constantly. One summer day they became convinced that she was mentally ill. The best corrective step they could think of for Gwen was to tell her to go outside and leave her books inside. Gwen tried to refuse, but found herself too weak willed to confront her parents.
Gwen stepped out onto the gravel path in front of her house. She was completely confused. She thought about climbing a tree, but she knew that people would stare. Although she had done nothing, Gwen began to blush at the thought of people watching her. 'Oh my god I'm blushing,' she thought to herself, and turned brighter red. She began walking away from her house. She didn't want her parents to think she was abnormal or anything. Where could she go? Nothing came to mind. She never went anywhere but from home to school and from school to home. School was closed for the summer. 'Okay, what do I like to do?' she asked herself. She considered for a few minutes. Be alone? No, she didn't really like being alone. It made her feel lonely. Being with people made her uncomfortable. Sleeping? No, sleeping was depressing. Going to sleep made her sad, as she couldn't help but reflect on her wasted day. Waking up made her miserable, as she thought about what the day had in store for her. Reading? Reading wasn't bad, although sometimes it was depressing. All her books were at home, though.
Gwen was suddenly inspired. She would go to the library and get a book, and then she could read that at the library, where she could get a private stall. It was complex, but she had no choice. She began the short walk towards the library. As she walked along the streets, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed that people were acknowledging her existence. And then she became embarrassed that she was embarrassed. And then she became embarrassed about the fact that she was embarrassed about being embarrassed. How embarrassing!
Gwen took a deep breath to reassure herself and opened the library door. She kept her head low and headed for the pre-teen section.. mostly short, sappy romantic stories, one of them might kill an hour. She gently spun the rack of books and searched for an interesting title. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed something new in the pre-teen section: a plastiglass display case, containing audio tapes and compact discs. Gwen had a tape recorder. She carefully looked around to make sure no-one else was around, and then cautiously walked over towards the tapes. 'I hate doing new things, I hate doing new things, I hate doing new things,' Gwen mentally repeated to herself. 'This is so stupid.'
She glanced through the titles of the music tapes, but there was nothing she'd ever heard of. The instructional tapes seemed pathetically useless to her, although one caught her eye - 'How To Boost Your Ego And Gain Confidence'. This tape was obviously the one for her! Again she checked her surroundings to make sure no-one was watching. She grabbed the tape and held in against her so no-one could see the title as she scurried towards the front desk.
"Yes? How may I help you?" said the kind-looking librarian.
"I'd... like to rent.. check-out this, um. Tape," Gwen whispered meekly.
"Can I see your card please?" "Oh, yes, sorry, I'm so sorry, that was stupid of me, sorry," Gwen apologized as she reached into her basically empty wallet and produced her rarely-used library card.
"And can I see the tape?" asked the librarian sweetly. 'Do you have to?' Gwen thought to herself, as she gently placed the tape down on the counter. There was a small clack of plastic on wood, and Gwen couldn't help but blush. "Sorry," she apologized again. 'I probably shouldn't have apologized. She probably thinks I'm stupid now,' Gwen thought to herself.
The librarian fumbled with the tape and shuffled a few cards, and finally handed back the tape and the card. "There you go."
"Thank you," Gwen mumbled, as she took her goods and left the library.
Gwen's parents were dissapointed when she returned after less than a half an hour outside, but contented themselves by saying she'd play for a whole hour tomorrow, and soon enough for half the day, like normal children. Gwen, of course, had gone directly to her room.
Gwen inserted the tape into her tape recorder, and after turning the volume very low, she pressed play. A female doctor introduced herself, and then proceeded to tell Gwen to relax, not to worry, and to be totally receptive. Gwen was always totally receptive, but now she tried extra hard, until all that came out of the black holes in the top of the brown tape recorder was equivalent to the word of God. The female doctor then proceeded to compliment Gwen. For a moment, Gwen considered the idea that the doctor didn't know Gwen and would say the same things to anyone, but she quickly erased these thoughts. The compliments continued. After a short while, Gwen found herself doing something she usually didn't do. She was smiling. Not a broad, teeth-showing smile, but a smile nonetheless. She'd never heard such an extensive batch of praise. Sure, her relatives told her how pretty she was, but Gwen always tried to ignore any attention which was focussed on her.
Gwen stood to admire herself in the full length mirror she'd almost forgotten about. She paused to turn up the tape recorder so that she could hear the steady stream of reassurance as she considered herself in the mirror. The tape recorder didn't lie. She was attractive. Her long, dirty blond hair was a bit dirty, but she didn't wash it much. With a bit of practise, she could have a nice smile. Her skin was distinctly pale - she would have to work on that. How? Wear a bathing suit in public? The thought made her genuine smile flicker and die. And yet, was it really so bad? She WAS good looking, after all... she'd be doing them a favour! Well... no, she was nothing special, or was she? After a few more listens to the tape, she resolved to head out to the public pool the next morning.
Gwen showered and washed thoroughly and admired herself in the bathroom mirror. 'What a woman!' she couldn't help but thinking. She shone herself that winning smile. Her freckles looked particularly charming this morning. She dressed and combed her hair. She was out the door before her parents could express their amazement.
Gwen strolled down block after block towards the recreational pool. 'These people are watching me,' she thought to herself, and couldn't help but smile. She arrived at the pool within twenty minutes, and paid her dollar and stepped into the ladies changing room. 'Other people are going to see me naked,' she thought to herself, and a familiar twinge of nervousness worked it's way up her throat. "Lucky them!" she said aloud, and pushed the nervousness away.
After slipping into her blue and green suit, Gwen strolled onto the pool deck and dove into the deep end. She wasn't an extraordinary swimmer, but she knew she could excel at anything she put her mind to. She swam for almost an hour. She admired her smooth, perfect strokes and wondered if the pool could start charging more money now that she was there. These people really should be paying something to watch her, after all.
Gwen climbed out of the pool and began to tan on one of the tanning chairs on the pool deck. 'I AM a Goddess,' she thought. She yawned as she stretched and stood up. She began to stroll over towards the diving boards. As she walked past two young males who were playing with diving rings, she called, "You can look but you can't touch! I don't want to spoil you for the rest of your pathetic lives!" She let loose a malicious chuckle.
Gwen climbed the ladder to the top of the high diving board. As she strolled to the end of the board, she could feel the wind perfectly complimenting her golden hair. The sun shone on her, highlighting her beauty for all to see. "I am perfection!" she yelled to the hundred or so inhabitants of the pool and pool area. "There will never be another so immaculately beautiful, so bountifully intelligent and self-aware, so graceful and charming as I! I laugh at you! You are all pathetic, snivelling mortals, existing only as an audience for my divine existence! You may now behold my dive!"
Gwen had no idea how to dive, but how could she fail? She bent herself at approximately a 70 degree angle and quickly tipped forward. She spun and tilted and fell into the low diving board and managed to listen abstractly as her spine and rib cage cracked. Before she could voice her concerns, her mouth was filled with water. Her confused lungs hungrily sucked it in, and within moments Gwen was the perfect corpse.