YIP Index

The Man Who Wouldn't Conform

by Sponge Monkey

"Fuck," Dave thought to himself as he walked down the street. Those were his usual thoughts. He hated the world and civilization and worst of all he hated conformity. The 'C' word in his mind. Dave looked around him and saw thousands of conformists everyday.

He remembered back when he was just a child. He had never liked the other kids and they didn't like him, either. He didn't care, though. Not even back then. Conformity was all a load of shit to him. "Hey Davey!" they would yell. "Come play on the swings with us!" His usual response was a "Fuck you" or he would simply mutter "conformists" under his breath.

On this particular day he happened to notice some kids in the alley smoking cigarettes. "Fucking conformists" he muttered.

"Oh and you aren't," a voice from behind him said sarcastically.

Dave turned around to see a middle aged man in a leather jacket standing behind him with a smirk on his face. "Fuck you," Dave replied. "I conform to no one."

"Sure," was the man's reply and he began to walk away.

"Hey pal," yelled Dave. "Get back here. I tell you I don't conform. You fucking conformist."

The man spun around and instantly began interrogation. "Why do you wear jeans?"

Dave replied "Because I want to."

"But only cool people wear jeans," replied the leather jacketted man.

"Fine." Dave made a note to buy some bell bottoms.

"Do you eat?" asked the man.

"Yeah, because I want to eat."

"Only cool people eat."

"Fine." Dave replied and made a note to stop eating.

"So, you won't do those things anymore?" questioned the man.

"No fucking way. I don't conform to no one."

"Do you breathe?" asked the man.

"I HAVE to breathe" Dave smirked.

"Only cool people breathe. You would breathe."

"Fine." Dave replied and made yet another note to stop breathing.

Twenty minutes later, Dave was found curled up and blue in the alley. Lack of oxygen was the cause of death. The man in the leather jacket watched as they loaded Dave's body into the ambulance. He smiled, turned away and began walking off into the sunset, counting how much money was in Dave's wallet.

YIP Index