Fact: Nature doesn't produce many of the useful items you use every day. On the other hand, Fraudutek Industries New Plastic has many uses, in fact, so many that it just wouldn't be feasible to list them here.
To give your further examples of the harmful effects of nature, please study the following chart:
|Chart 14.a23||Mother Nature Vs. Fraudutek Industries|
|Mother Nature||Fraudutek Industries|
For years, Fraudutek Industries have been hard at work killing any natural thing we can get our hands on, but we don't just mean shooting things and blowing up Greenpeace boats. Fraudutek Industries vision is much greater than that.
Fraudutek Industries has been hard at work designing replacement items for 'natural' things you were forced to use before, such as the oxygen you breathe. Fraudutek Industries NEW Oxygen is cleaner and easier to breathe. Not only will you feel better once you get some of our stuff into your lungs, you'll be better as well. Once you try our new form of life sustaining gas, you'll never go back. In fact, as an incentive, we've added chemicals that reward you will be feeling of euphoria with each breath, and other chemicals that just make you come back for more. That feeling of anxiety and panic you'll get from cheap non mechanically produced air will tell you you're wasting your breath. Only Fraudutek Industries NEW Oxygen will be able to fulfill your desires.
Fact: Plants, such as Poison Ivy, kill more people a year than Chemical Weapons and Accidental Nuclear meltdowns combined!
Don't listen to the lies spread by health nutritionists. Eating 'healthy' is not the answer. In fact, whenever you read misstatements like 'source of essential vitamins" steer clear, Vitamins are the last thing you want infesting your body.
A small sample of agreeing doctors
Doctors now agree*! Plants are incredibly harmful to you.
* Any doctor that tells you differently is lying to you. Yes, it's true, some unscrupulous doctors have accepted bribes, or have been brainwashed into believing their own lies, and will tell you that Grey Burgers fine section of greasy food simulations aren't the healthy way to enjoy a full life, and that eating such toxic items as Tomatoes, Turnips, Spinach and Poison Ivy are the way to go. Fraudutek Industries has investigated these false claims and have now made it their mission to expose them for what they really are. Dangerous, dangerous lies!
But maybe we should give our cruel abusing 'mother nature' a chance to corrupt your with faulty truths, if only to show how pathetic they are.
Maybe we should ask her to explain male pattern baldness, the appendix, acne, and the ironically named foolish and useless wisdom teeth, and the list goes on and on. We should and do ask her, but does she answer? No. She ignores us, like she doesn't even care.
Perhaps you should ask yourself what "mother nature" done for you lately? Her slow, dim witted approach to existence have brought you to the brink of oblivion.
Evolution, her cruel trick, takes millions (if not longer) of years to change even the smallest of errors.
Now lets talk about your kindly Papa, Fraudutek Industries and its immense staff of helpful employees, who are always ready to answer even your most inane questions at a moments notice. Always there to lend a helping hand. Always ready to serve you the way you deserve.
Fraudutek Industries can change to meet your growing needs at a moment's notice. By the time you read this sentence, Fraudutek Industries has already improved your life in ways you could not even begin to conceive.
Everything 'Mother Nature' creates fades and dies eventually. But now thanks to Fraudutek Industries, nothing will ever deteriorate again. Fraudutek Industries NEW Plastic is designed to last hundreds, if not thousands of years longer than anyone would ever want it to. Now that's craftsmanship!
Quicker. Faster. Friendlier. And more concerned about Your Needs. That's why Fraudutek Industries is ready to free you from the tyranny and evil clutches of nature. We're up for the task, a task so noble, that we do it with pleasure.
WARNING: Wild Beasts continue to stalk the earth, even to this day!
Animals of all sorts roam the earth at all hours of the day. Completely useless, they contribute nothing to the greater economic structure. True, at one point, their bones, tusks, and organs were of some use, but now thanks to many innovative products produced by Fraudutek Industries, all of these so called bi-products have been made obsolete.
Examples of dangerous wild animals that continue to roam the earth.
Now, thanks to Fraudutek Industries, these animals and creatures are nothing but an eye soar, blocking the view of massive factories, laboratories and chemical weapon plants.
But Fraudutek Industries is hard at work, removing these pesky parasites from our collective consciousness. Within five years no one will even remember what an 'animal' looked liked, let alone how they tasted. Hand in hand with Grey Burgers, the very idea of eating some foul creature not produced in a laboratory will seem absurd as it really is. You don't even know where those animals have been, what feces they have eaten or slept in, etc. But with Fraudutek Industries Better Beef as our new flagship eatable, you'll always have answers to those questions.
WARNING: There now exists a vicious plot to make you re-use, reduce and recycle now useless products and packaging!
Despite Fraudutek Industries constant prodding to make you consume more and more products, even if it means instantly discarding them, a sinister plot has evolved out of the purest depths of evil, to make you actually want to put an end to progress! Yes, these backward people, who fear the future, wish to halt production, and wallow in a stagnant mire of re-using. Products, already used, abused, and broken by others, are now being scheduled to be handed back to you. But don't worry! Fraudutek Industries is hard at work stamping out these harmful ideas.
Yes, it's true, there are some who wish to grow food matter from refuge, such as rotting vegetation, and even animal and human droppings. You don't need your food grown from the waste products of others. You deserve to have fresh, newly produced food, made out of new chemicals, specially designed for your flavour and nutritional needs.
The twisted idea of recycling will only prolong the death throws of nature, and prolong our suffering as well. The very idea of recycling is merely an attempt at procrastinating the enviable, to stop people from actually seeking the improved ways of Fraudutek Industries. This mindless assault on our corporate ideal will not work. Fraudutek Industries is ready, and willing to make the improvements you want and need, whither you want them or not.
Fraudutek Industries, strong, powerful and willing. We will win this war, because we have the right ideas, the right people, enough explosives and the guns to shoot them.