Ode to a flat piece of yarn

Oh flat piece of yarn, lying so stealthily on the ground.

You amaze and titilate the roof of my mouth, simply by lying there.

You astound me beyond belief, I have always wondered what you used to make that egg shimmer and glow like a huge neon sign.

But now you just lie there with the power all inside you, never letting anyone but yourself touch it, you greedy bastard.

I liked and admired you since I was a child and now this is how you repay me, you sit there, and taunt me with your powers.

You will pay for this, oh holy piece of yarn, you smug lily white cock sucker.

Prepare to die bastard, cuz here it comes, the only thing that can alter your state of being.

Yes, thats's right, mommy finally let me have it, her extra special Knitting Needle.